What Are You Thinking?

Agreed! (!)

 

5 on 3 again. #$%^

 

Its getting really bad around here. You can feel the tension between people sometimes and everyone has stopped in subtle jokes around race because most people are trying to avoid any conflict because of it. The new black panther group around here is also taking things to the extreme so it doesn't help any.

Yesterday I talked to a guy who sells guns and he was telling us that after the incident happened gun sales raised dramatically. Can you imagine? Tons of scared people out there with prejudices and a gun. I feel safe now -_-

 

I'm thinking about things in life, trying to figure out what I want to do with it. Being out of a job and living in California that I think I should just move out of here until the employment rate gets better. Plus living in the poorest city in Southern California doesn't help either.

 

Safety is not the refuge of those who had fallen. Not a thing will redeem the injustice done to them, not vengeance, nor righteous victory.

When will people realize that violence will not solve their problems?

 

Ugghhh, stupid weather...
Because of storms/bad weather the party that was going to be at my friends house for her architecture fraternity moved it to a house that is closer to campus. Technically since I'm not part of the fraternity, I wouldn't be able to go to the party but when it was at my friend's house, it didn't matter. But now since it's at this other person's house, I can't go
There goes my whole weekend trip to St. Louis...damn you mother nature...:dry:

 

I'm thinking about multiple things....
I'm writing this new story and idk if anyone us going to like it:/
Also its been 2 months since I last saw, and actually touched my bf. He's coming hone tomorrow and I'm just so excited!
And lastly I've fallen so behind in school. I didn't get accepted into the college that I really wanted to go to:/, and now I have to major in something new because of it:/ my mind is going haywire and idk how to think rational anymore. Why does life have to be so difficult.

 

Write it and just don't worry about who will like it or not. I've written tons of stories and many people found it to be disgusting and gross. I write what is on my mind and if it makes people happy reading it then at least I did something right.

Life sucks at times but you just gotta learn to pick yourself back up and try again.

 

Ehehehehehe
Please, I have like 90 Tumblr crushes.

 

That when someone is hated, they are taught hatred. Few people give that any thought. This is why so many humans try to preach non-hatred all the time. It doesn't work well, does it.

 

My mother makes me feel so unloved sometimes. :lol:

 

I WAS THERE!!!!

http://www.comingsoon.net/nextraimages/darkknightscansew3.jpg

 

I want Taco Bell, and onion rings, and In 'n Out, and a burrito, and Starbucks. Omg.

 

Hmm...I need a "My Mood" option that combines "Tired," "Depressed," "Annoyed," and "Moody"...

 

i really need to learn to open up more instead of treating the people i love like shit to keep them from getting too close to me

 

damn, i'm hungry but it's 3:43 in the morning. just got done finishing up my favorite pasttime. contemplating on whether it would be a good idea playing some dreamcast games right now.

*sigh*

shoot, seeing all those guys together sharing some precious time together actually has me sort of jealous. i was thinking about what it would be like for me and another guy to share such a moment. but then in the pit of my stomach and on the back of my mind, i realized that when i do experience it with that guy, i will be out in a sense. i'm out to myself, not out to those that matter yet but i will be living out who i am. i know i'm gay but it's like i have that "straight robe" on hiding who i really am. once i move in that direction, that "robe" will be gone and even if i'm still not out to those around me, i'll have to come clean. boy, am i nervous. that's going to be the hardest part. whatever happens happens but if the worst comes to worse, i want to run to my bed, cry into my pillow and be in total disbelief that i actually told one of my family members or my homies that i'm gay. in total disbelief that this is my life. i know i'm not a big deal out of nothing but still...... this to me is a big deal. :tears: this will be the biggest and hardest thing i've ever had to do in my life.

people say that it's not that people tend to overexaggerate other people's reactions to them coming out but to me, this is like death. once you do it, you can't undo it. i am sure of who i am but i'm not ready to kill this current life i'm living in and start new.

going from white and black to being full on rainbow. wow.

 

For once, I'd like to know what it feels like to experience a mutual romantic attraction to someone who's completely honest with me. I'm tired of living at home with the parents and being broke with no car of my own. I'm tired of being lonely most all the time. I hate feeling like I'm out of the dating game due to my career/financial situation. I wish my mom would realize that money alone should not be the deciding factor in where I accept/reject. I have a dream of something that my parents might not fully understand, but whatever I just see myself fulfilling it even if it's risky.

 

Whats the dream, if you don't mind my asking.

 

Spiccato. The current bane of my life.

THIS WILL CHANGE IN THE NEAR FUTURE. *puts on determined hat*