You know you're in denial about being lgbt when....

When someone if the same sex makes eye contact and you quickly look away out of embarrassment or fear of discovery but deep down you want to look back and flirt....

True story from way back; I was working retail when I was 17-18 and my boss (older female) would come in on her off hours with her friends (a few were gay men)...fast forward to when I am on my break and she approaches me and ask ‘you know that friend of mine I come in with sometimes? He’s gay you know...he finds you really attractive...” I quickly say ‘sorry I’m straight’......deep down my pulse is racing and my heart is pounding in my chest ...and later I find myself flirting in a discreet and subtle way, yeah that’s denial (I guess)

 

How often does it happen? Just curious.

Sounds like internalized homophobia. Trying to wish gayness away or make it go away. I've done that a lot.

I've caught myself flirting with women who I thought were gay or just found them fascinating and wanted to know them better. I was still in denial thought so my mind didn't make the connection between my flirting, fascination and orientation.

 

It doesn't happen very often, but has occured a few times. I think it's because I'm not fully out to everybody, and still like 90%-95% closeted except for like 5 or 6 people. So from most of my time acting straight, I think it causes me to forget sometimes, until I see another hoy guy, and then I'm like "Oh right, I forgot I also like men."

 

Yep, I'm 43 and there is a guy at work who about 20, very good looking and we are both uncomfortable around each other. He has a girlfriend or did have but I'm sure his at least bisexual. There's this tension especially if we're alone, awkward.....I wouldn't mind a fling with him but long term 23 yr age Gap is too big....but I like tension....lol...

 

When you tell your friend you love them and you tell yourself that you meant that in a strictly platonic way, but you know that you're never that outwardly affectionate towards the rest of your friends ever.

 

Yeah xD

That pretty much sums it up. Lol.
Now that I think about it, I knew something was going on. But I never had a crush on a girl, so I thought I’m straight and horny.

 

I see. Being closeted and mostly straight it can be easy to forget sometimes. The awkwardness must still be there though, I mean being in the closet can be tough. I'm mostly in the closet as well.

The thrill of tension...I can't say I haven't missed it. I wish more girls were tense like that around me. I mean it has happened, but I'd like it if it happened more often. That would require me doing something about it though. Hm food for thought.

But but friends are sssuposed to give you weird blushing and random shivering when you hold hands. Am I right?

Nope?

xD

I thought I was kinky. Or that I would gradually see what makes men irresistible to other women. I was convinced I would forget woman related fantasies when I had good sex with a man or something.

Yeah, I was wrong. It didn't go away and in fact only grew in intensity as I ignored it.