Straight to the point - I'm never certain about my sexuality. I'm out as bi, everyone thinks I'm bi, but nobody knows that I can't stop questioning. I'm a girl, and I've liked girls in the past. But now, I'm not so sure. Perhaps I'm straight, and I'm just lying to myself in order to fit in with my friends. Sometimes I find myself trying to find women attractive. Other times - does it just happen naturally? Does it not? It's got to the point where I keep second-guessing myself. I don't feel like I could date a woman. Am I tricking myself? I guess this is stupid but I'm going mad. I never feel comfortable in my own sexuality. I think about this everyday and I can't stop - surely someone else has been through the same thing?
Hey, I'm sorry you feel like you are always questioning. Would you say you have been attracted to men and women in the past? When you say you can't imagine dating a woman how does that make you feel? I know I have spoken to several bisexuals on here who say their sexuality is fluid and sometimes they will be mor into guys and other times girls, do you think maybe this is the same with you? Are you friends predominantly straight or bi or gay?
Thanks so much for replying - I'll answer your questions in turn. Yes - I've been attracted to women and attracted to men. However, it seems like men are more common. When thinking of dating a woman sometimes I feel fine, other times I feel anything between mildly weird about it to sick. Which is a strangely aggressive reaction, even if I turn out to be straight. Perhaps, although this has been going on for awhile now. Can the fluidity be... slower? Like, slower to change from one to the other - to the extent of taking years? My closer friends are all either gay, bi or pan. I couldn't talk to them about this. I can't help but think that they would be dismissive or annoyed, even though I know that is probably not the case, and is irrational. Its a weird situation, I guess haha...
Not sure if I'm going to help here or not, but I can definitely relate to what your feeling. I think about my sexuality a lot, to the point where I sometimes can't stand it and have to force myself to think about something else. I keep questioning weather I really am attracted to men, and looking at men and trying to find them attractive. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, and when I don't it always makes me wonder. I've found a few ways to deal with this questioning that might help. First of all, when I see a dude I don't find attractive and start questioning, I find it useful to remember that there are also lots of women that I don't find attractive for various reasons. Since I don't find all women attractive, then it would follow that I also wouldn't find all men attractive as well. The other thing I find useful is to look back and think about guys I have found attractive in the past. There are definitely times when I've seen a guy, either in a picture or just out and about, and been like, "Damn, he's hot," in a way that was so strong and instinctive that It couldn't have been force. My eyes saw and my body reacted, that was it. These things don't always work, and sometimes I just have to deal with the doubt, but they do help some, and might work for you too. Hope this helps some, I know how frustrating questioning can be.
When you first thought you were attracted to girls, how did that happen, was it one girl or just over time you noticed girls? If you are bisexual it doesn't have to be a 50:50 down the middle split, maybe you are more into guys but occasionally girls too. The best advice although I realise it's totally easier said than done would be to try and stop wondering and questioning so much, and just wait and see who you are attracted to and if it's a guy great and if it's a girl great. How many people are you out to?
