What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

Gay

 

Yes I did..so when I was younger, say High School...I really tried to shoe horn myself into the status that society expected..I went through Girls and relationships to maybe try and prove to myself that all these feelings weren't real. Later after a couple of sexual expierences with Men...I found that it was much more satisfying than sex with a women..so started my Bi phase..I still married a women thinking things would eventually fade away..but it didn't..and each time it came back it was with more intense feelings. So, here I am, 59 yrs old.. married for 25..out to my Wife and we're still together but living separate lives so to speak. I really Love men and although I do notice a good looking Woman, I don't desire them sexuality or want that kind of relationship with one. It's been a long journey with alot of wasted years. I know it a long read but it about covers it....lol

 

I consider myself bi, but more towards the gay side of it.
That said, I'm also atleast partly asexual.

 

I feel free to say that I'm absolutely gay femme girl )

 

I'm quite classically bi. I'm into masculine men, feminine women and androgynous people of all genders. I'm more frequently attracted to women, but the attraction to men is strong too.

 

I notice what you notice! I have certain types I like. At least to look at them. But right now I'm going through a phase where I don't feel like I want to be in a relationship.

 

Mine has fluctuated over the years, and I'm not 100% sure or setting it in stone, but I'd say I'm mostly or entirely gay, or else bi with a strong general preference for men. I've had the occasional crush on a gal but it's extremely rare for me, so imo gay is honestly the most accurate way to describe myself.

Imo experimenting with labels and such is healthy and good, and it's also good to acknowledge that stuff can change and fluctuate and that it's perfectly normal. At various points in my life I've bounced between gay, straight, and bi, and as I've sorted things out it's become clearer to me and I've gotten more sure and comfortable of who I am and stuff. Being trans has also added another complicated layer to the mix and made it more difficult and confusing for me to sort this shit out lol.

 

So, like what is your definition of a very masculine man? A lot of guys I mean are masculine in some way or another. What qualities make a guy more masculine or a girl more feminine in your opinion?
Am curious because I see those issues indirectly affecting people who are in relationships or dating. I have met a lot of people who only focus on the sex appeal of a person. Rather than his or her actual personality. Only to get disappointed in the end.

 

Well you mentioned a of stuff. I mean that list is long.. dude. Is this like the ideal person or the perfect person? For a guy I have not met anyone that has all the qualities you mentioned. Maybe Mr Perfect?
For a girl maybe, yeah you can find those things if she is not a very career driven woman. Some tend to focus more on their work, don’t have the time for other stuff. But otherwise I know what you mean by feminine women.

for guys I think i like the Gentleman yet warm and down to earth friendly kinda of guy. I never can get a long with any guy who is remotely cocky. Or follows those Alpha male rule book. Just to impress people. That to me is just being fake. I can spot that a mile away.

I guess the more genuine and authentic a person is. The more I would like being around them and spending time with them.

Being athletic and taking good care of their appearance is always a plus. I can’t deny being attracted also to that sometimes but it’s not everything.

 

I think that everyone’s opinion and preferences are valid so are yours.
what’s so clear is that you know in detail what you like and don’t like which is a very good thing.
I also wanted to apologize if I went on a rant a bit in my last post or If I sounded negative. That was not my intention.

 

Isn't it interesting how we come to regard male strength/masculinity according to physical characteristics? I used to think the same way, until I saw so many strong and well-built guys crumble at the first sign of emotional disorder in their lives. It's actually very distressing to witness the meltdown.

In a complete about turn I have come to develop a huge respect for men who may not be the picture of masculinity but have layers of strength that only come to the surface in a crisis... and yes, this includes so many gay, bi and trans men. Sometimes we only discover the real strength of a man when all the chips are down. It's that quiet determination to face the issues and pick up the pieces that is the mark of a real man.

 

Gay!
If I see back in to my life, I had interest in boys from before high school and I wasn't a stereotypical boy. At that point there was nothing sexual about my interest in boys. In high school, I remember having crushes on boys. At that time I also realized that these feelings were also sexual. I didn't put any labels and just wondered if others also feel the same way. Later I came to know that other boys too feel the same way but for girls. I didn't have such feelings for girls, though there was an anxious wish to meet and talk to girls (I now see that as just an attempt to fit in and the anxiety is because of not liking them in the way other boys do and being different how things may unfold). I had realized that there was something different going on with me and I started being secluded. In college, I saw guys dying to initiate talk with girls they liked and date them. I liked guys and I used to spend time with them but just as friends because I was afraid to tell them my feelings. I too in college sometimes pretended that I was attracted to some hot girl, who is wanted by the whole college. Later in college and for a few years post college I started searching about what I am?, where do I fall?, what my feelings mean? etc. etc. Probably that's when I confused myself, and finding so many options I tried to fit myself in some category other than gay. Maybe I am bisexual or demisexual (with girls) or asexual (denying attraction to guys).... then even fine classification as homoflexible (maybe with the right girl it will happen!)..... After spending a few weeks here on EC reading about other's experiences, retrospecting and finding similar experiences in my life and assertively writing about them here, it has now become very clear that in truth I am gay. And I am yet to digest it and take further steps.

I too find it comforting to fit in somewhere. It is like being a human being and being part of some herd feels safe It sort of brings out a clear picture. But I still dream about a label-less world! What if there were no labels!

That's so true, love it