Hi Well I made a HUGE mistake. I decided to pursue programming and now...I hate it. I'm at my second year and I cannot stand the subject. I'm not good at it and I'm falling behind. I decided to change modules before it gets worse. I know people say give it time, but I just don't care anymore. There are people in the Computing and IT sector that have been programming since the age of frickin 6. I'm 29 lol. Even if I get a degree and a job in this sector, whats the point? I won't be able to keep up with all the developments and workload in such a sector anyway because I'm dyslexic (yay!). I can barely keep up with my simple cashier job, forget becoming some sort of programmer/tech worker. Plus I've reached a point where I might hurt someone if they tried to bully me. The last 20 to 25 years of my life was a NIGHTMARE. None stop daily put downs and abuse and constant criticism. Oh my God I am fed up. I feel I'm not good anything or anything that I am good at, it is simply not valued nor marketable. I hate hate hate HAAATE my life. I know I sound ungrateful, but its how I feel. I will try to START OVER...I just hope I know what I am doing and do FAR MORE RESEARCH.
I am sorry that you are in this situation. It is better to stop now and find something new than to keep at it another several years and then have to. Most people find it difficult to cut their losses but better sooner than later. I hope that you can find something that is satisfying for you. I know exactly what this is like, I have had to restart my life over from virtually nothing several times.
I changed my mind. I overreacted. I'm studying a computing degree. I'm only studying two programming modules. I will survive these module and pursue a different module in the next term. LOL I lost it eysterday. Just changed my perspective. I will give it a VERY good attempt and use it as an opportunity to develop a different sleepy part of the brain; problem solving/logic/syntax. #I'mSoGonnaWIIIN *throws confetti*
Most adults have moments like these. Just think of new parents.....this feeling is with them when baby goes home. Or when moving across country for a job. Or getting married. It is a sign of deliberating on the correct choice as an adult and coming through it (like you have) to move forward. You said you are better, yeah. But you are not done. Like I said most adults have these moments. Embrace them as the learning opportunities they are. These feelings will never completely go away, but they can be used for personal growth. ((momhugs))
