siblings also gay?

Hey,

I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone- there are other people out there who are or were in the closet and have gay siblings. I have a brother who is gay, which made it a lot harder for me to come out and be truthful (even to myself) about who I really am. I'm gay, BTW- or more accurately, I'd say my attraction ratio is about 80%/20%- guys/women. All throughout high school, I kept having these periods of seriously questioning my sexual orientation, but always convinced myself that I was straight, and that those feelings I had (toward guys) weren't for real. Toward the end of high school, I subconsciously knew that I wasn't straight, and thought that I would eventually come out to my parents with my brother being the straight one in the family. Needless to say, I was shocked when I came home one day and my parents were sobbing because my brother had just come out to them. Although my parents aren't homophobic people overall, they were quite upset and said some insensitive things about my brother's coming out. At the time, I felt like they'd be twice as upset if I came out to them too, and I felt like I had to be the straight sibling from that point on.
That was a while ago, and I just recently came to the realization that, given everything in my life right now, it's better to be honest about who I am (to myself and [gradually] to others) than to go on pretending that I'm straight. Your profile says that you're still trying to figure out your sexual orientation. I can only imagine what you're going through right now, but take the time you feel you need to figure out who you are. Once you do figure it out, be honest with yourself. Even if you don't tell your parents for a long time, it's not worth being dishonest with yourself and acting like you're one way when you know you aren't. I know that's easier said than done though, especially when you feel like you can't tell your parents or your sister. However, it's a lot better to be have an honest conversation with yourself now than to do so when you're 45+ years old and married (with or without children). The admins of emptyclosets are probably more knowledgeable about finding support resources than I am, so sending them a PM wouldn't be a bad idea if you need to find support resources in your area (ie- PFLAG, or if you're still in school, the local LGBT alliance or campus group).

Sorry for the long message- I just want to be supportive to you in whatever way I can be. I don't know exactly how you feel right now- but knowing that you're not who people think you are (in terms of your sexuality) can make you feel very alone. I've been there myself, so I hope this helps.

Best of Luck,

Edogs

 

When we were growing up if you were told that one of my parents' children was gay, you would have probably picked my brother. Instead he is a straight guy who can pass as gay, and is comfortable enough with who he is that he is ok with that.

 

Your well off enough to have a phone, the ability to use it, to afford alcohol and the capability to function a computer. You can read, write and are socially functional.

Where is your life going?

Anywhere you choose, you have the skills and knowledge to do anything.

 

I can only imagine what you're going through right now, given all the things that are happening in your life. I'm sure it must be really tough- especially when you want to tell someone like your sister, who probably doesn't realize what you're about to tell her. The advice I can give is to hang there (no matter how cliched that sounds), because you can and will eventually get through this- even if your sister and/or your family doesn't react well. I know that's easy for me to say, but if you have faith in yourself, that you're a good person no matter what, you can get through it. You've already taken the most important step of all- being honest with yourself.

Best wishes,

Edogs

 

When you feel ready, try call her again, and if her cell phone goes to voicemail, say that you have something really important to tell her, and would like to talk to her sooner rather than later.

By the way, is Agerardii the genus/species name of an organism? That's kind of funny:lol:

 

Youngest of five; my two oldest brothers both are dating women, and my sister has dated men and only men. My other older brother hasn't really dated much... maybe! He's pretty straight though, he's been caught looking at straight porn, so I'm probably the only one.

 

My older sisters are either married to or date men, and my older brother is straight. My little sister, though, often mentiones how "cute" certain girls are but I've never heard her mention boys. Then again, she's only 7 so it probably means nothing.

 

My older sister is bisexual and out to my family, and her being older she was out first.

Her being so out and proud and loud about it definitely made it harder- she has tons of gay friends and it's one big party to them so it was definitely harder for me to come out because I'm so reserved and shy.

Surprisingly... My mom was borderline upset when she found out she was bisexual, but totally okay with me being gay. I think she finds bisexuality confusing, haha :lol:

 

Both my brother (21) and sister (16) are straight. Unfortunately, my brother is the most homophobic person in the family.

 

My sister's bisexual, but leans towards men. She's dated/slept with a few girls though.
She was one of the first people I came out to. I love her

 

So I decided to post this cause well I guess maybe I need to say it and hopefully it won't be true. So my younger brother well he thnks he's gay or bi and well has been questioning himself for a long time. I mean for a long time I knew I was gay since what 5 or before and well I think for him it is just a phase or he's just copying all the people from orchestra since most of his high school and middle school orchestra is gay. Or well he could know about me and well thought well if my brothers gay maybe I am too. And well he's the type of person who follows everyone no matter what and being that mostly all of the orchestra guys were gay he thinks the same or he might know with me and he thinks maybe I am too. I mean I could be wrong and he might really be gay, but I don't want him to be. I guess that sounds kind of wrong, but it's just I don't know. If he ever tells me "u know _______, I'm gay" I really don't know what I'd do. I'd probably just stop talking to him cause I think in the deepest part of him he really isn't gay and a piece of him knows it. And well with that said it makes it harder cause well if he is gay I can't really be out at school since some gay guys are gossips there so it would get to him right away. And well I just don't think he is gay.

 

my uncle is gay or so me and my sister are assuming because we saw him at omaha biggest gay club!!! lol but he ran away from us when we saw him... he has a family and a wife so i wouldnt dare tell anyone thats up to him but i was already out at his point so it didnt affect me i just feel bad for hime and now i know which side of my family my gayness came from