Having realized that my sexual interest is exclusively toward men, after identifying as bi for some time, and still being in the closet, I was wondering how those in a similar position handle the inevitable attempts of well-meaning friends to set you up with opposite sex dates?
I went through this. It's tough... You can't keep refusing, because they'll start to suspect something. First of all i would say "I'm the one to decide who i date. Not you, my dear friend." If you say it in a joking manner, he shouldn't be upset. Unfortunately (or fortunately) in my case they were so persisting that i had to avoid their company.
Of course the best way to eliminate good meaning friends from trying to set you up with the opposite sex is to come out. Even now once in awhile someone will want to introduce me to a woman they know who would be prefect for me (hardly).I just tell them outright I am gay. It makes life so much easier to be honest and out!
It would make things simpler to come out, but as many EC members have said, coming out is not always a simple or easy proposition.
eron.....Honestly I don't know why "I'm just not interested" has to lead to suspicion that you might be Bi/Gay. There are certainly people who remain single. If one of your "friends" has a tendency to try and hook you up with someone, you'd think that telling them thanks, but I'm just not interested and please don't do it anymore, would be more than enough to put a stop to it. If they develop suspicions, then let them...it's their problem, not yours! .....David
Someone i know used to tell people, "i only go on one date a year, just to remind myself how much i hate going on dates. This year is already taken care of. Sorry!"
I'm with you all the way. I think the suspicion arises from entrenched stereotypes, and I really don't care if they suspect I might be bi or gay. I'm not that insecure.
Sometimes we need to be quite assertive and say no. It's not even about sexuality, but about the idea that we can be 'set up' on a date with anyone (male or female). Maybe I'm a bit of a prickly pear in this respect, but nobody ever got away with setting me up on a date - ever. I just wouldn't have it because I am my own person and perfectly capable of sorting out my own romantic and sexual relationships. If I needed help, I would ask for it.
