I have been avoiding posting this in part because I’m so ashamed that I’ve gotten myself into this situation and because sharing this somehow makes my dilemma real. For over 30 years, I’ve been living in this country. This is how I may have gotten myself into a Catch-22 situation. Unanticipated Financial Challenges The events leading to my nightmare began when I was informed of a significant change in my employment status. My boss asked to speak with me, and my heart pounded with anxiety as I braced myself for the worst—retirement. However, the news was not as catastrophic as I had feared. My working hours were reduced to three days a week, which led to a substantial decrease in my monthly income. This unexpected change has been a source of emotional distress and financial strain. I was left with no choice but to accept the new circumstances to avoid losing my visa and work permit. I realized that retirement here may no longer be feasible and that returning to the U.S. would quickly exhaust my savings. Building a Life with Jay My life here has been built around my partner, Jay. We've been together for 26 happy years, and our shared experiences have resulted in a comfortable life and a modest home we cherish. The thought of being separated from him is unbearable, and the prospect of our life together being torn apart is a frequent source of anxiety. Social Security and Bipolar Disorder My current situation can be traced back to my early years. I come from a family that always struggled financially. I didn’t have a good model for dealing with money. Also, during my time working in the U.S., employers handled all the necessary withholdings, and I was vaguely aware of social security withholding. After moving here, I continued to overlook this social security, partly due to my then-undiagnosed bipolar disorder and partly due to my ignorance. Cost of Living in the U.S.A. How much I would need to live in the U.S. is shocking. The average monthly cost of: rent $1,500. utilities $380. groceries $350. healthcare $775. my medicines $825. Total $3,830. Retirement and Financial Requirements Unfortunately, retiring here requires a financial commitment that I cannot meet. A minimum of $XX,000 must be deposited in a local bank or a monthly income equivalent to $X,000. In addition to living expenses, we would need to cover medical insurance (higher for foreigners), my medication costs, and cost-of-living expenses. Looking for a Solution I hope to continue working for the next year, primarily to maintain my visa, work permit, and insurance. I have also explored online job opportunities, but the job market in my field is saturated and the pay is extremely low. We are currently brainstorming potential solutions, but so far, we have not yet found a viable option. Reaching Out I am reaching out hoping that someone may have insights, information, or suggestions that I might not be aware of. If not, I understand. I appreciate that you read this. Note: For privacy, names, places, and currency amounts have been changed.
Hi Lek. Thanks for sharing. The thoughts for the point in time that a person needs to decided and plan for retiring is so real. Age is also not on my side and I have reach a age milestone whereby early retirement is an option and keeps on rolling in my thoughts To have a reduce income takes quit a bit from the purse that one have to made a living from I hope you will have a solution that finds you well soon
It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's a difficult situation for you and I'm happy you posted. I hope it's okay to give you this virtual hug. These are tough desicions. Now I may be very radical here, but how about moving to a different country, where living expences and overall quality of life would be better? As you have savings, then this wouldn't be a bad idea. You'd see new places and would make new connections. Also healthcare for example is under universal health care system for the recidents who recide in EU for example. It's not completely free, but you may need to pay, but it's way smaller amounts. Sometimes even only 5 euros for visitation fee and that's it. Most people in Europe are well versed in English too, so language barriers wouldn't be a big deal. What does your partner think of it all? Have you discussed it with them? Would they move together with you, it it's needed? I'm bad with finances too. I know it all can get very overwhelming. I think the living expences are getting high everywhere. My online friends vent to me about it too. In Estonia too. Though you can rent one bedroom apartments for 300+ euros. I think my food bills are around 350-400 euros. It's for family of 4. Most of it goes to medicine and food, but also electricity, water, trash, firewood. End of the month is always tight. I don't know if any of this helps, but best of luck to you. Also it is difficult in the job market, but what about trying out your luck in a different field, that may have similar qualifications needed as your current job?
I'm not sure I can provide much advice, Lek, just sympathy. What an awful situation! I guess if I was in your position, the first question I'd ask myself is 'where do I want to spend the rest of my life?' and work backwards from there. Is your partner a national of the country you're living in? Would being married change your status? How far off retirement is he? Can you continue earning money past retirement age? Anyway, hoping you can find an answer to your conundrum.. Beth x
Thanks, Carla, Rayland, and Beth, for your supportive responses.: Thanks, I'll take a hug. {{{{O}}}} Yes, I've considered this. Where we live has a fairly low cost of living and a good quality of life. If we were to move somewhere else, then both of us would have to have a minimum amount of savings or income. Yes, Jay and I have talked about this. I think we're both scared of what the future may hold. We're not at the stage of discussing whether or not he would return to the U.S. I probably cannot survive well on social security and savings for too long. I was shocked to find out how expense rent is. When I was there, my rent was $250 a month. It helps to have a different perspective. Thanks for your wishes.[/QUOTE] I am exploring other possibilities in a couple of different fields. I have a tendency to experience anxiety and it actually helps if I talk to Jay. Posting my dilemma here actually eased by anxiety. Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
Hi Beth. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. It's so scary. I want to spend the rest of my life with Jay and our dog, Toto. It's hard to believe we've been together for over 26 years. Yes, my partner is a national of the country we are living in. Same-sex marriage isn't legal and even if we did get married in another country, it wouldn't be valid there. We haven't talked about when he might retire (thanks for the question), but my guess is in 5-10 years (the mandatory retirement age is going to be raised). I'm actually working beyond normal retirement age here because of the field I'm in. I'm hoping to be able to supplement my income with remote work. [/QUOTE] Your questions were quite helpful. Thanks, again.
