First of all, I know that some people on EC are going to school, might need assistance based on their health, or live in really expensive areas, so this thread is not about that. What do you think is going on with some people who never left home by the time they reached middle age, continued to live with their parents, and had a decent paying job or even a career type job? They also never married. I know there could be several explanations. I have two friends (one male, one female) who are doing this right now. I don't push the topic. I returned home after college and also after going for a masters. I stayed until I found suitable work and then left to live in my own place. For me, it was much easier to live alone than be at home.
I'm in that boat as I'm a carer full time. I suppose the good thing is that by middle age you also couldn't care less what anyone thinks anymore! I'd rather be in this situation, to be honest, than to have gotten married for the sake of looking normal and (eventually) divorced after a weird marriage. It's not too bad, I get plenty of space to myself (I've sort of built a little bedsit into the main house) and have also built a cave in the garage. (On another note entirely... why can you "like" some threads but not others on here?)
I think if they have a job and don't actually be just lazy and still expect their parents to help them out, then it's all good, if they still wish to live at home and who can really blame them as housing markets are grazy expensive anyway and it helps them to save up for old age. They can live more freely withouth worry about raising kids or taking into consideration a wife needs too. If they are the type to expect still to family take care of them and do everything for them, then there is something wrong there. Family in that case should be firm and be stricter by at least asking for rent, if they countinue to live at home. Not even employees wish to hire them, if they have their mom show up together with them and speak for them, unless of course they have a disability, then it's another story. I'm not entirely sure myself, but it's only disabled in the general chat area, because it's all just chit chat, fun and entertainment. Not nessesary here. You can get trophy points for the likes. I'm not sure what they really do, but I think this is the reason.
I guess if you rule out the other factors, it's just what they are comfortable with and they get along okay or great with their family. Personally, I moved out "late". When your parents give you all the freedoms that come with adulthood when you're an adult, I didn't realize that moving out was even MORE freeing [that and saving money lol]
I’m 31 and I live at home because I have a disability and no job and with what I get on social welfare I’m not sure I could live on. I give my mother half the money I get from the government to pay for my keep. Another reason I don’t move out is probably the same reason a lot of people don’t. My mother’s cousin was wondering why her own three daughters never left. It was too comfortable, their mother did everything for them. I loved living in student accommodation for a year but I gained several stone because I ate instant noodles and ate way too much sandwiches. Not because I couldn’t afford better food but because I was lazy. I don’t have to cook at home or pay to use a washer and dryer. I never knew how the settings worked so just used the same setting as the person before me. The only downside to living at home is my dad lives here.
Thanks for all the answers. It's in the chit chat section. Some people have reasons that make a lot of sense - some folks need some type of assistance or their area is expensive. I went home after college and a master's because I didn't have a job lined up. The second time, it lasted several few months and then I had to relocate to start that job. I can relate to what some people say about their jobs when we have threads on job situations. It was a well known company, but the position was not at all to my liking and it would have taken too much politicking - and too much time - to get a position I would have liked, so I left to do something else. I started the thread because a few people I know have good enough jobs or their areas aren't that expensive. One friend with a good job admitted that mom's cooking is one of the reasons for staying and this person is well into middle age. Another friend also just never left and is constantly fighting with a controlling mother. That person would like to leave but keeps getting reeled back in. I was just wondering about the situations where people CAN leave fairly easily, but don't do it.
Where do you live, OP? I know in some parts of the country (like the Midwest), its a lot less common for folk to leave (or if they do leave, they eventually end up moving back). In California, we have the rising costs and housing shortage, with many more young folk being forced to stay/move back home. I think something like 2/3 of the people I went to school with ended up leaving to another city/state/country. Marriage has also been on the decline (or delayed). I'm not sure there's any one reason/explanation. It could be due to disability, cultural values, finances, personal preference. Again, I think with increased Hispanic and Asian populations/influence it will become more accepted/mainstream.
I think that, like you said, it can be cultural. Come to think of it, some of the people I know who are doing it voluntarily come from cultures where it's okay to stay if not married. Another reason I thought up this thread is because my home life was sort of turbulent and I was amazed at how much more peaceful life was once living on my own.
It depends on each person. I left my home and the cushy job I had to take a lower pay because it was "illegal" to be a lesbian where I lived, and my parents would never accept me. They also let me down in some pretty important "other areas" so I basically cut ties with them to move here after I had enough saved up. Nothing wrong with living at home if both parties are comfortable honestly. Life is expensive!
