1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Pansexual, but…

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by PeacefulPan, Aug 23, 2021.

  1. PeacefulPan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2021
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Physically, the US. Mentally? The clouds.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Let me start this off by saying that I’m Pansexual, but in that, I’ve only been in relationships with the opposite sex because I have no idea how to initiate romantic relationships with other females. I can talk to men so easily, romantic or platonic, but females… the second I even think there could be a chance of something more than a friendship, I become the most awkward person in existence. It’s even more unfortunate because I feel like I have a preference of women, but I don’t know for sure because I have literally zero experience with them. And being that I’m in a very small town, it’s very hard for me to even explore the option. Plus COVID, so it’s not like I’ll be going out to meet people anytime soon anyways. Haha. The situation just feels so… complicated. That being said, I will gladly take any and all advice someone is willing to offer for this situation. Even just, how to not be so awkward when it comes to the idea of more. I’ve been out as attracted to women for 12 years (I came out when I was 11, I’m now 23), so I just feel like it’s time I stop being so nervous at the idea of being with another woman.
     
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  2. Ingvermama

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2021
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    86
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    No advice but I feel your pain!
     
  3. PeacefulPan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2021
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Physically, the US. Mentally? The clouds.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That’s okay, I’m just glad to know someone relates in a way! Although, I’m sorry you’re struggling as well If you ever want to talk about it with someone else who kind of gets it, I’m here!
     
  4. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am someone who does not understand at all how to flirt or how to initiate relationships. I have found that for me the best way to get close to people is to do things that I am interested in with other people. COVID has really messed with that. Prior to the pandemic and hopefully after it calms down I have gotten involved in volunteering in different ways to help other people (like feeding the homeless etc) and I have been politically active, I also get involved with different LGBT+ groups and I play games. Table top role playing is how I met my current spouse. If you cannot find people where you live is there a larger town close enough to travel to? (I lived in a town with 110 people but an hour away was a town with a moderate size LGBT community that I volunteered with). If even that is not an option maybe you should look into moving eventually.
     
    Ingvermama and PeacefulPan like this.
  5. PeacefulPan

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2021
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Physically, the US. Mentally? The clouds.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone

    Thank you so much for your reply!
    Unfortunately, I don’t have a vehicle to go elsewhere, but because my town is small I can pretty much just walk anywhere here. Being in the south though, it’s hard to find many accepting people. I’m definitely hoping to move one day, I’m mainly staying for now for my grandmother because we don’t know how much time she’ll have.
    Also, completely unrelated, but thank you so much for volunteering to feed the homeless and the less fortunate! I really admire that. That hits home to me because I grew up homeless until I was 12, and so I enjoyed reading that part and knowing there are such good people in the world still!
     
  6. BiGemini87

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    812
    Likes Received:
    625
    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I wish I had advice to give, but I feel this down to my bones. ._. I have limited dating experience, have been with my husband for nearly 17 years, and until 2+ years ago, I hadn't come out/acknowledged my bisexuality. Now that I have (and have admitted feelings for a female friend of mine from high school) I have no idea how to interact with her without being awkward beyond belief. It's like going through puberty all over again.:confounded:

    I hope, when things open back up and you get the chance to talk to another woman, you'll be able to ease into things. Until then, maybe you can just try chatting online with other women you know share your attractions (whether that be to you or other women in general). I think being able to talk about it with others can make a world of difference when you're finally ready to get out there.
     
  7. tidalpool127

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2021
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    73
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey PeacefulPan, I just wanted to echo QuietPeace's statement about finding LGBTQ+ groups to join. My husband and I used to volunteer on the board of our city's pride parade until COVID shut things down. We're also part of a LGBTQ+ facebook group for our city, and they have meet-ups for trivia nights, drag shows, board game nights, etc. It was definitely fun to hang out earlier this summer, but now my city is back under a mask mandate. So I know it is hard with COVID.

    Does your town have any LGBT centers or community outreach? My city sounds bigger than your town maybe but it ain't that big and we do have one. They're doing virtual support groups and virtual hangouts so maybe something like that?

    Wish I could help with the awkwardness, but I'm in the same boat, I trip over literal empty space and do not recover gracefully. But hey, I'm older than you so maybe it isn't as big a deal to your generation but for what it's worth you sound way braver to me than you think you are. I mean, you came out at 11. I knew I was gay by 11 as well, but in no way was I brave enough to tell anybody. So yeah, you're way more courageous than you think you are.
     
    Ingvermama likes this.
  8. elli0x

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2018
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi :slight_smile: I think it is much easier to talk to men on a romantic or platonic way too :/