Currently, I am out to most of my immediate family. I feel guilty sometimes though because my dad is the only one who doesn’t know. He often has made comments about how neither I nor my sister opens up to him or share things with him and “he’s always the last to know something.” I would like to tell him, but I really don’t know how to explain that I like girls without bringing it up out of the blue and that seems incredibly awkward. He is not homophobic and he’s supportive of the LGBT community but he struggles to understand the details and different types of identities. I also feel like he might view me differently if he knew I liked women and it would be awkward. I don’t know how to have this conversation though. I’ve put it off for years by saying that I’d just introduce my gf when I had one but every time I thought I was going to have a relationship with a woman it’s fallen apart before it could ever become anything, so at the rate it’s taking it could be a long time before I have a gf for him to meet. I came out to my mother via text and that was nerve wracking in its own way so I don’t know if I want to do that again. My sister I just told. I have tried in the past few months to have more visible pride stickers like on my laptop, (“love is love” and stuff like that) but he has not commented on them. I’m not sure what else I can do.
Hey I think if you really want to tell him then there will be a way. Sometimes there is not a way to take all of the awkwardness out of the situation you just have to find the way which is least awkward and feels right to you. Do you love with your Dad? It might be that he has noticed the stickers but doesn’t want to bring it up or ask about them because he doesn’t want to make you feel awkward or say the wrong thing. Is it something you would discuss with your sister?
AnxiousReader.....Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! Some important factors in deciding when to come out are: *****Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you. *****You might want to consider using a letter when the time comes to tell your dad. A big plus to a letter is that you don't have to be present when the letter is read. That can be a very big help as it eliminates the potential face-to-face confrontation that can sometimes be difficult. Coming out in writing means you will not be interrupted or face a barrage of questions that you need to answer immediately, in the heat of the moment. You get time and they get time too and that counts for a lot. It gives the people reading the letter some time to think before they talk to you. After all, you've had time to think about your sexuality, perhaps for years…giving them at least some time to think about it too only seems fair! There are some great sample coming out letters here on Empty Closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use a letter, taking time to think about it and to write one will help you to be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! You can then use the letter as a "script" for when you do come out face-to-face. Check out the letters (see below)...they could be a real help! *****Also...when you do come out, whether it's tomorrow or a year from now, your dad will probably have questions. Take some time now to think about what those questions might be. Such as; "How do you know you're lesbian?" or "How long have you felt this way?" etc. The questions themselves will vary a great deal depending upon your dad...so take that into consideration. If you work up a list of five or six probable questions with the answers already planned, you will likely be perceived as a more mature, serious person. *****COMING OUT LETTERS: http://emptyclosets.com/home/pages/resources/coming-out-letters.php *****Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things work out. .....David
