Not Another Straight Crush

Thank you.......and I hope that your friendship with him will get better and better.

 

I thought this post was interesting because I think I am on the otherside of this scenario. I think I am the straight friend who maybe isn't so straight. I think my friend likes me, but I am not tottaly sure. But now I am not sure what to do about it. So sometimes it is worth it to say something, because it can be pretty hard to say something first. But also if you won't be seeing him much anymore it might not be worth it to say anything.

 

lmao! OMG I HAVE A HARDCORE PROBLEM WITH STRAIGHT GUYS! I just love the masculine guys! So straight guys I always crush on like all the time! then I try to atleast to get with them and they give me signs but I sumtimes doubt that they're gay! ITS SO CONFUSING! lol

 

well recently i got quite a crush on a friend... she's knows about about how i'm questioning. she came round for a sleppover and we were having a great time. and we just got to talking about what we would do if someone we didn't really fancy or hadn't considered before asked us out. and she said that she would just feel flattered, and might even start to think of them in a different light. i was so nervous but i thought, what the hell, so i just gently told her that i had a bit of a crush on her and what did she think?

she said she was indeed flattered, and she wasn't sure how respond, but she didn't really reciprocate. and that was awkward for a moment. but we just talked about it a little more and i explained that i wasn't madly in love with her, (thankfully), it was just a small crush, and she said again that she was flattered but she didn't really think she was interested in that way. and then after that we just had a laugh and went to sleep. it was a bit awkward but it was fine in the end. since then i have seen her several times and things haven't changed between us at all, in fact i think we feel closer having been so truthful with each other.

then again, there are several factors why it worked out so well. first, she already knew i was bi(?) so it wasn't so much of a suprise. second, we have been friends for a long time, and are very loyal to each other. third, it was only a fairly weak crush anyway. fourth, she genuinely did feel grateful i told her (i think - even though she doesn't reciprocate) because she has quite low self esteem, no boys ever show any interest in her, and she was pleased to discover anybody might like her. (she's a stupid gonk like that lol)

but anyway, so that was my story of the straight crush that wasn't happily ever after, but wasn't blow-up-in-your-face-i-wish-i-was-dead either.

 

That's a really cute story... thanks for sharing.

 

Thanks, it has.

I must say that our friendship has gotten much stronger and deeper over time. It's very odd, but my crush is diminishing as I become closer friends with him. I appreciate him so much more now than before. I think it was more of a sexually charged crush at first. Now I have more of a true emotional friendship connection with him based on mutual respect and not just a physical lust. I don't know how else to phrase it. He's not a piece of meat to me anymore, now that I've gotten to know the person inside the body. I know it sounds odd. I would think the crush would have grown deeper, but the opposite occurred for me now that I respect him.

I stayed at his place two weekends ago and we both had a great time. I'm going back to his place at the end of November. It was my last visit with him that has greatly deepened my respect for him as a friend. I would have lost out on a great friendship if I had avoided him or messed things up due to a crush.

On a side note: I haven't told him that I'm gay, and probably never will.

My advice is not to run away from a crush. You could be missing out on a great friendship. The crush may pass soon enough once you get to know him.

I know davo-man has it even more complicated since his crush has starting dating his best girlfriend. I hope that works out.

 

i have may straight crushes and i have told themn there is only about 4 of my straight crushes who still talk to me and they say look it dont matter we r still friends and i respect that so i am still trying to over come these feeling for them but wot gets me is that when they r drunk they play on it abit so when i see them getting that way i tend to leave them and go my own way but apart from that some of them still talk to me and hang out with me which is ace ........ but i need help how do i cope with it when they get drunk and play on it

 

As an 18 year old gay male in a liberal arts college, you would think that meeting new gay people would be a simple task. You would, of course, be correct. I have found countless men that have liked me for who I am, an they are wonderful people. The problem I have, however, is that I cannot seem to move on from my high school crush. Since my sophomore year in high school, I have been infatuated with this boy, and junior year I had even grown to love him. Of course, falling in love with your straight best friend is probably the most asinine, as well as cliche, twist of fate that could could happen. Five years later, I still cannot get over him. Many of my friends believe that I have built an emotional dependency upon him, which will not allow me to move on. I would agree, except I believe that the real reason I cannot relegate these feelings is because I hold on to that minuscule hope that he might actually reciprocate my feelings. Ever since I had come out to him, he would only intensify his efforts in making me feel safe and comfortable. I cannot distinguish between whether his overly affectionate disposition is caused by some sub-conscious need for affection, or if he genuinely likes me. Again, I am far too close to the situation to be able to think rationally. Therefore, I need a way to move on from him. Not a day passes without his face, voice, or my masochistic desire to talk to him resonates through my actions. I live three states away from him, yet distance has done nothing to sever the possible one-sided bond I share with him. How do I let him go? I've tried cutting him out completely, as well as confronting the problem. Nothing has seemed to work, thus far. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.