Need Advice: Craigslist Hookup

Don't do it! Even though he wants to just have a hand job you never know. If you go to his room he is in control. He could take advantage of you and do things that you are not ready or willing to do. You want to wait and be with someone you trust and care for for your first time. My first time fooling around with a guy was this past winter and I don't even remember his name. I wish I didn't fool around with him.

 

I would NOT do it. You said you wanted to be 100% sure, well posting your question here doesn't exactly send the 100% vibe that you want to do sexual things with him. All I can do is echo what others have said, especially calchip and numfarh. You don't know *what* exactly this dude is into, if he's clean, etc. I DO think there is something unhealthy with a 35 year old man wanting to sex up an 18 year old and vise versa, I will make a generalized judgement when it comes to that. 30 and 50 I can understand, but 18 and 35 are in such different places mentally/emotionally.

I'm not trying to make you feel badly or anything, just want you to be OK.

 

i dont think so. i talked to this one 'nice guy' via craigslist but then he told me he was 27... i stopped talking to him b/c of that. plus u dont even know him. save yourself for someone who matters

 

No don't do it.

As others have said,the fact that he is almost 20 years older is a huge red flag.And the fact that he wants to go somewhere alone.You haven't even met this guy and you don't know a thing about him.He very well could pressure you into doing things you don't really want because he is older and has good manipulation abilities.You shouldn't want your first time to be with some creep you met on the internet.I call him a creep because anyone who is 35 and wants to have sex with an 18 year old is a creep to me and I should know(I have an uncle who is 41 and dated an 18 year old Ew) Your first time should be special and with someone you know and trust and hopefully love.

This whole things just gives me the creeps.

 

Wow, I cannot believe a few of the alarmists in this thread. I personally don't think age is a factor here at all, they are both adults. If you go through with it Mike, I'd advise to stay safe by sticking with the sauna handjob rather than going to his hotel room, and hopefully it'll be a good experience.

 

If' you're not sure about this, then don't do it.

However, I side with Joeyconnick on this one. At what point would I become 'creepy' if I wanted to hook up with someone via Craigslist (which I'm not entirely proud to say I've done before - without incident).

Was it a healthy way of interacting with people? I'd say no. Is it inherently bad to meet someone via the internet for sex? I'd say no to that too.

If you've exchanged emails or chatted online, seen him in person, plan to meet to talk first, then you'll have had several opportunities to form an opinion of this guy. Then it's a matter of trusting your own judgement.

The sad fact is that he's probably married with kids and closeted, just like I was. This is his only outlet for his same-sex attraction - quickies in hotel saunas. But he feels stuck, given that he wasn't willing to admit to being gay growing up and can't imagine acknowledging that now in his mid 30s.

I've been there and done that. It doesn't make you creepy. Walk a mile in someone elses shoes before passing judgment.

And to coin another phrase, people who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones. Mike was on Craigslist looking for exactly the same thing that this other person was. But Mike is a victim and the other guy is a predator? I don't quite see it that way.

 

Yeah don't do it if you're complete virgin.

It's creepy a 35 guy would say yes to a 18 year old. I know if I'm 35 the cut off age is 30 to 40.

 

Don't lose your virginity just from a random hook up. Frankly don't go. Do you know how many people do it and then you wonder where all the HIV and STDs come from. Well there it is right there, random hookups. So yeah just don't go.

 

I made the same mistake and lost it (at least what is my definition of virginity) to someone I didn't know well, and someone I didn't love or really care for (romantically, I care about him a lot as a friend).

Wait; I know it seems hard, but it'll be a much better experience if you do!

 

I wouldn't hookup with a random guy the first time, even if you're just doing the mutual J/O.

He can try to get you to do other things.

 

always say no to advertised hook ups!

 

I'm glad to hear that you didn't go!(*hug*)
Hooking up via Ads is really unsafe and just asking for trouble.

But age difference makes no difference unless they are of non-consenting ages.

 

Oh my gosh, THANK YOU... I thought maybe I had gone crazy and all of today's teenagers' sex drives had died and sexual activity had just gone the way of the dodo. Because when I was just out at 19/20/21, there were tons of people hooking up with friends, strangers, whatever... and most of those experiences (actually, none that I know of, even) did not result in being drugged, raped, and/or kidnapped.

I was beginning to think maybe I just used to hang out with a particular sexually precocious group of people. So it's good to hear that the whole frequent hooking up thing is not some weird kind of exception.

 

Now I'm wondering though. It's a large sample, but is it representative? Isn't it perhaps very much skewed? I mean, weren't people with bad experiences more likely to end up talking you about it than people who had healthy, fulfilling relationships?


Perhaps it's not necessarily needed, but I still wanted to make it known that this thread has put up some good arguments, and that it made me think about some of the preconceptions I held earlier and on what they were based (or not based) on. And that's always a good thing, I think!

Also, I'm now thinking that I hung out with a terribly stuck-up group of people. None of us ever had sex or did anything sexually while in highschool. Or at least we never talked about it...

 

No No No No No No No No No No No No No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Wait, it's done with? LOL Ignore the previous post then LOL! Good for you not doing it You'll find your special someone and when you do it will be all the more special