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My bf says he might want to move abroad in a few years

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by James657483, Sep 7, 2022.

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  1. James657483

    James657483
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    Hi there,

    I am in a great relationship (my second longer one) with a guy of the same age as me in mid-twenties. We have been together for 10 months and already have had many experiences together. I have met his family multiple times, we have had a holiday abroad, we are regularly having candid conversations. And we had one yesterday.

    I have asked him to clarify what he means by thinking about moving abroad in a few years which he has mentioned previously. And little did I know I would open a can of worms. I kept asking for details and the most I could get from him was that he is unsure about the move and he isn’t sure about when he is going to start thinking about it, maybe in the next 2-4 years. Btw, he is already studying the language.

    So we cried a bit yesterday, primarily because I felt sad about what this uncertainty meant for me. I know it’s early, but he is the kind of person I could have seen marrying. And after sleeping on it I am quite sure I want to continue the relationship because I like being with him. I am just not sure if being in this limbo, possibly for years, can have a negative impact on me. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to meet someone else who is also great at a different stage of my life.

    So at this point I would just love to hear anything you have to say about this from your perspective and experiences. You have been insightful before and I am sure you have something to contribute this time
     
    #1 James657483, Sep 7, 2022
  2. Cinnamoon

    Cinnamoon
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    You don't want to move abroad with him? Understandable of course, just clarifying. It could be an option, although you deserve to live your own life too.

    Even if this relationship doesn't last beyond the move, I wouldn't say it's a decision you have to make overnight. We're talking years here, not weeks or months.

    Continue having those candid conversations. As much as people here can and hopefully do continue to advise, at the end of the day it's your relationship and only you know how you feel.

    It sounds like he may not even move in the first place, considering it seems like just an idea more than a plan of his at the moment, although it's good to plan ahead as if he plans to go through with this.

    But yeah, like I said, no need for snap overnight decisions. This place will always be here, he doesn't sound like he's going anywhere anytime soon. Keep talking, to him and to others for insight, and see how things go.
     
    #2 Cinnamoon, Sep 7, 2022
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