Have you met people who attempt to matchmake repeatedly or even just every now and then? I have and, looking back at it, it's a big red flag. They usually have their own agenda and sometimes want to get someone they know situated. One of the only "safe" ways to matchmake, if you even want to go there, is to throw a large enough party or gathering and invite these individuals. If they talk to each other on their own and become interested, then it was meant to be. At least they selected each other through their own will and by choice. Basically, the more of a matchmaker someone is, the more toxic and controlling they are all the way around. That's what I've seen.
I'm sure there are other groups that do it too, but in my experience - it's straight girls that match make strictly based on "gay, and also gay". It's very annoying, and if you think too much about its kinda sexualizing or fetishizing queer men. I think it could be nice if a good friend critically thought and found somebody for me. But of course it's always some random girl that barely knows me ahaha
The only experience I've had with matchmaking is movies and TV shows, and those always work out splendidly! I also don't have a lot of life experience yet either so maybe I will run across matchmaking friends eventually. Oh wait, I do recall one funny matchmaking story. I know a guy who was trying to get back together with an ex. about a year after they had split. What the guy didn't know, however, is that the ex had become best friends with an even earlier ex he had dated 3 years prior. So he calls the ex one night, asks her if she wants to go out to discuss maybe getting back together, and she drops the bomb, "I figured you should get back together with *fill in ex, ex's name* He's shocked because he has no clue how they even know each other. Turns out they worked together, and fast forward about a year later, he marries the older ex, and the one he had tried to get back with is the maid of honor at the wedding. So the ex was the matchmaker that got him back with his previous ex, but only because he tried to get back with the ex. It's sort of a lovely bizarre story.
I have a friend who used to like playing matchmaker. He mainly just found it amusing seeing me get nervous and make a fool of myself. The worst was when he was out with a friend and he video called me for the sole purpose of getting us to talk to one another. By far the most awkward video call. Nothing came of that. --- One time I was contacted unexpectedly with the question "Would you say that you're futch? I mean, you're not butch but I wouldn't say you're femme femme, I only ask cause I'm with some lesbians at the moment" "*sigh* Why are you with lesbians? Where are you? Where are you finding all these lesbians? You're not trying to set me up again are you?" "No, they're a couple don't worry, so what would you say? Are you futch?" "...How did you even get on to this conversation?" Anyway he invited me over and I met the couple. They were nice and we're friends now. So, platonic matchmaking if you will in that instance. --- We were at a bar one time and we were talking about his ex girlfriend. He was joking about how his ex is bisexual so maybe I have a chance now. I rolled my eyes. Then his ex showed up behind us which made him jump. She must've been in the toilet. Neither of us knew that she was in the same bar until we saw her. It was a good thing we were done talking about her before she appeared. That would've been quite the introduction. She went back to her friends. I saw them (my friend and his ex) speaking together and it was clear there was no bad blood. So I walked over. His ex acknowledged me and said that she'd heard a lot about me. I was about to say 'good things I hope' when one of her friends started making jokes about her to me. Then I checked my phone and realised I needed to head out so I said good bye to everyone and left.
I think that also can be a bit of a trap. Many times people dont even know how to describe themselves or even better what do they think as their perfect match, so it can be quite stupid in my view. Also, I think is a sign of being narrow-minded to an extent
It is oversimplifying on their part. They probably don't know many gay people and have to slap them together. They're not thinking about things enough. It is a good story. It's one where all is well because it ends well.
I don't like it. Most of the time, I might take up some activity or hobby where a fair number of people belong or are members and it's usually a woman member who takes it on herself to match me up with one of her friends that's either there or outside of this activity. I like being independent and they're trying to complicate my situation because I get the synopsis on the person they're selling me. Run! It's not in the slightest way meant to benefit me even if I was a Kinsey 0-1. I didn't go to these activities for that! It's not like you show up to these activities and tell them your relationship and sexual history when you show up because, after all, you're going for other reasons. They just assume. That part is toxic. Sometimes, I have to reset boundaries in a not so nice way or leave the group. A couple of times were funny. I had this acquaintance who is a hairdresser and he knew more detailed information about me. He still wanted to match me up with a woman friend in his circle of friends. I didn't get upset but just told him "no thanks" and laughed it off. The other story was a situation where it was a hobby or common interest club. This was a fairly long time back. I showed up after work in business casual. A woman who was very nice said that her son, who was also a member, wasn't there that night and it was too bad I couldn't meet him. I never found out what was intended but she didn't seem to too pushy so I didn't read too much into it. I'm sure she meant well, like maybe just a friendship. It's the ones where they're obviously not trying to benefit you at all that shows the kind of matchmaking that is toxic and controlling. It never fails.
