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Madly in love with male 'best' friend; not sure if he is gay or not.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ShadowJ, Mar 31, 2014.

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  1. lmacheung1

    lmacheung1
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    LOVE LOVE LOVE stories like these omg
     
    #101 lmacheung1, Jun 27, 2014
  2. kyrtap

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    What a great story. Should be a novel lol. Well best of luck tomorrow whatever happens at least you told him. So now you either going to be a couple or very best of friends, there is no downside in my opinion. ( i am hoping for a couple though) Thank you for sharing your journey with us. :slight_smile:
     
    #102 kyrtap, Jun 27, 2014
  3. ShadowJ

    ShadowJ
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    Oh, I hope for a happy ending!

    In 30 mins time, I'm going to meet him... Wish me luck (&&&) I'll be updating this thread later, unless I get caught up in his place :wink: Just kidding lol, I'll be sure to update and keep you in the loop.
     
    #103 ShadowJ, Jun 28, 2014
  4. Benj

    Benj Guest

    Good luck:thumbsup:
     
    #104 Benj, Jun 28, 2014
  5. JayR

    JayR
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    You have such a wonderful friend. I am happy for you :slight_smile:. But yeah, as for someone like me who also fell in love with his guy best friend. But the feeling isn't mutual. I'm glad your friend is giving you positives signals. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck :grin:
     
    #105 JayR, Jun 28, 2014
  6. confuseduser99

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    OMG!!! Such a cute story!!!!! Best of luck ShadowJ :slight_smile: PLEASE update us soon!
     
    #106 confuseduser99, Jun 28, 2014
  7. ShadowJ

    ShadowJ
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    ...Time for an update :slight_smile:

    So, we had a great day out. I won't go into too much detail about it all, because you'll get the gist of it now. Basically, he was at it again with all his hints- e.g. he picked up a diet coke bottle saying Gorgeous and said 'I've found your name' and winked. Because we were having such a great day, the discussion of the subject of me liking him wasn't very thorough. However, it did come up quite a few times- he was asking a lot of questions, like how long I've liked him and if I 'love him lots' (he is trying to tease me, godammit :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:). He was also asking questions like how long have I known I was bi. There was one moment where we almost kissed; well, it seemed like that. We got really close to each others faces (like REALLY close) for what seemed like 5 minutes but was actually about 5 seconds. Again, he had a slew of innuendos and sexual business to tell me- like when he said something was soft (I've completely forgot what it was), he said 'you prefer it when I'm hard though'. He was also sucking a straw in an, er, erotic manner and trying to get my attention, then stroked my leg. There was also the usual strong eye contact and touchiness (especially brushing arms and legs).

    So, it seems pretty clear cut to me that maybe he does have attractions to me. I also think he's questioning his sexuality- he keeps constantly asking me questions about how I knew I was bi and when I realised, and has even admitted he's had fantasies about men before (but said it was 2 years ago). Sorry, but if you have fantasies about men, you at the very least have suppressed feelings for the same sex (thus at least bi-curious).

    Anyway, the current answer is neither a yes or a no. On monday or tuesday, I'm going to have a proper talk with him- no distractions or whatever. I'll ask for a clear cut answer and maybe other things (any suggestions?) Do you think this would be beneficial? :slight_smile:
     
    #107 ShadowJ, Jun 28, 2014
  8. Rumpletubb

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    You guys are practically dating, sorry for the spoiler.

    It's amazing to hear that it wen't so extremly well! His behavior did change though, he flirts more now!

    Don't push him too hard. Just ask what he thinks of you but don't demand anything. If he is indeed uncertain, it might be hard for him to proceed when there's pressure.
    Just kiss him goddamnit. He wants it.
     
    #108 Rumpletubb, Jun 28, 2014
  9. ShadowJ

    ShadowJ
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    Thanks for the positive reply Rumpletubb :slight_smile: I wish we were dating :lol:

    And thank you for the advice, I won't push him too hard, I don't want to put him off or anything. Especially if he was unsure. Also, I should've leaned in for a kiss at that moment >.< Haha, maybe next time.
     
    #109 ShadowJ, Jun 28, 2014
  10. Silas

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    OMG this story just gets more and more adorable, I'm already shipping the two of you as a couple :lol: At the very least he definitely sounds curious, admitting to having past fantasies plus all that flirting, teasing, hinting, winking, touching, stroking... like Rumpletubb said just be careful not to put too much pressure on him! Hope everything works out Shadow! Maybe a kiss will do the trick :icon_wink
     
    #110 Silas, Jun 28, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2014
  11. wanderinggirl

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    Woww!!! What if you asked him how he felt about kissing you? Flirting is all innocent but I think a kiss is a really low-commitment way of testing the waters.
     
    #111 wanderinggirl, Jun 28, 2014
  12. RedDev84

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    I remember when I read your first post in this thread ShadowJ and posting a reply very early on. I then promptly manage to lose this thread somehow despite all the updates and couldn't find it until today! I have since discovered an invention known as 'subscribe to thread' which I will promptly make use of!

    You've done really well to come out to him and then also express feelings for him. I can't imagine doing that myself yet at all, so seriously congratulations on everything so far - it's good to see people reaping the rewards for 'taking the leap'. Your story may well give hope to others feeling the same way :slight_smile:

    I can't imagine a situation anymore that he's isn't gay or bi. The only confusion I have is why he's hasn't come out yet, surprised about that. I hope for you the time will come. Do you feel able, when the time is right, to perhaps ask how he feels about his own orientation, whether straight, bi or gay? I assume you'd prefer him to come out himself of course, but I can't understand why he hasn't already, so may need some gentle encouragement?

    Thanks for your updates, we appreciate it. It's a great story you've got going here.
     
    #112 RedDev84, Jun 28, 2014
  13. confuseduser99

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    RIGHT? Just SOOO cute!!!!
     
    #113 confuseduser99, Jun 28, 2014
  14. Kenaria

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    oh jeez sorry i read the first page or two and then commented, this story is whole lot further than I expected but omg I love reading it.
     
    #114 Kenaria, Jun 29, 2014
  15. ShadowJ

    ShadowJ
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    Thanks for all the replies guys and gals :grin: I think us two as a couple would be something of perfection, I hope it all works out! Still, if it doesn't, I'm glad its out there and off my chest, and that I still would have such a good, trustworthy friend. Also, I'll ask him a little about his orientation on monday. I won't overdo it and push him too hard, I'll just scrape the surface with one or two questions. Thank you so much again for your help everyone, I couldn't have done this without you! (*hug*)
     
    #115 ShadowJ, Jun 29, 2014
  16. Moonhammer

    Moonhammer
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    I sincerely hope this works out for you. By the way, this topic it more addicting that cocaine!
     
    #116 Moonhammer, Jun 29, 2014
  17. kyrtap

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    Adorable just adorable, all I got to say :wink:
     
    #117 kyrtap, Jun 29, 2014
  18. ShadowJ

    ShadowJ
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    Had a little talk with him today by ourselves :slight_smile:

    First I asked him about his orientation. I didn't go straight in and say 'are you gay or bi?', I just said 'have you ever had same sex thoughts?' to which he replied yes and said he once thought he might be bi, but generally considered himself straight. I then asked about what I told him on Friday, basically asked for a yes or no, and he said 'I'm not sure yet. I'll have to think about it, I've only had two days' and smiled at me. He said 'its not like I haven't thought about it, but you know, shady waters' and laughed. I am so happy he is considering this! :grin: I'm so happy! I really, really hope he says yes, but even if he doesn't, we'll still be best friends. Like, he said today 'we need to get BFF braclets or something'. <3 I think he is definitely interested, but the shady waters part (even if it was a joke) makes me think that he's not ready to come out fully and would prefer to keep it on the down low.

    So, needless to say, I'm elated at the moment :eusa_danc
     
    #118 ShadowJ, Jun 30, 2014
  19. Kabuki

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    Gaaahh!!!! Awesome!!!! I'm so happy he's taking it into consideration. Stories like this are the ones that make me go fuzzy inside. I'm so happy right now!!! Let's hope everything turns out great and he says yes. Wahhh!!! (!)
     
    #119 Kabuki, Jun 30, 2014
  20. wanderinggirl

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    That's so weird! He was wayyy flirtier with you than any straight guy should be. I wonder what "shady waters" he's talking about; everyone already thinks you guys would make a great couple, right?

    Maybe he just likes attention. Or he's in crazy denial that he's in love with you. But he definitely likes you a lot as a friend and feels comfortable with you, so there's that! It sounds like he's not going anywhere. :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
     
    #120 wanderinggirl, Jun 30, 2014
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