First of all you dont have to hate yourself or feel like shit, I know that is hard that your parents dont wanna see you but I think that they, eventually will see that they are wrong. I wish you the best. *Hugs*
(&&&) Hugs. THis is going to sound really odd, but in reality, this is a good thing. Whatever issues your mom had have now found their way to the surface. Yes, it undeniably sucks, but that said, a great piece of wisdom I heard once upon a time is that family is what you make it. Your mom has apparently decided that family doesn't mean that much to her. Truthfully, IMO it's better that you know your mother is harbouring ill will toward you and is rather toxic than to walk into a situation where she's trying to play nice and failing. I too disagree with those that suggest you need to trip all over yourself to fix this. You've done nothing wrong (as you've posted it here, anyway). If you did call your mom something or say something mean in anger, send her a note and apologize for that. Beyond that, it's not up to you to correct your mom's stupidity. Find somewhere else to go for the holidays, and from there, strengthen your bonds with your friends and get on with your life unencombered by dead weight and toxic people. If your mom ever calls you back and tries to make amends, then it's worth playing the game. Until then, I know if I were in that situation, there would be no more outreach on my part.
(*hug*) She will come around it will just take time. I believe it was somewhere on EC i read about how parents have to grieve the "loss" of their child when they come out. Not in the sense that you actually die but in the sense that they feel you are not the person they imagined you to be. It takes some time for them to go through that and realize you are the same son. I would recommend as the others did that you simply keep the communication lines open and kill em with kindness. I know it is hard to do, i had to deal with it with my dad. But if you continue to be the bigger person and show that she is family and that even if she will let something like this come between how she should be treating her kid, you won't. If you have any family in the california area other than them you could always try that for thanksgiving or friends. Just stay positive, go out have fun, and try to take your mind off it for now. You cannot control other people but in the end u will be her son and she will learn to accept it. If you have any more open minded family i'd suggest talking to them about it. Just try not to alienate yourself from people and sit in your room to much(*hug*) It never helps as much as going out anyways xD
Thanks guys, on phone so can't write much. Staying at a friends house and feeling better about the issue. Haven't talked to my mom yet but I'm going to write her an email when I wake up tomorrow. Ty for the advice.
Glad you're contacting your mom - hopefully, she'll realize how horrible she was in your last conversation. Just know that we're all thinking of you. Good luck!
I'm gonna suggest what Dan Savage often suggests in these situations. Give your family a certain amount of time to get used to it, then tell them if they can't come to terms with it, you will not give them any attention until they do. Give them a year to bitch and complain and not like you. Tell them if it continues after a year, you will not have contact with them. They will no longer be a part of your life if they can't accept you for who you are. You just need to put yourself in a position of power. You set the rules and boundaries. You're the one who decides how long they get or if you're going to put up with their bullshit. Eventually they will miss you. No mother can completely abandon her child, no matter what. People will get over it. Things will return to the way they were. I bet your parents have a harder time coming to terms with it because you are away at college and they don't understand that you're still the same person. When people think of other people coming out of the closet, sometimes they picture the most stereotypical gay person as who you are now, and that can be uncomfortable.
Ah man. So sorry you have to deal with that! Like someone else said, I'd love to give you a real hug! I admire you for having the guts to even deal with your mom like that. Do you have any friends you can spend Tgiving break with? I really wish that it were easier for people to understand each other. There is nothing wrong, disappointing or gross about you. What's wrong, disappointing and gross is how hard it is to look past the surface for some people. Hopefully she will come around and see that you are still you. ::hugs!::
