Hi, at age 81 I'm a bit late in discovering my sexual likes. All my life I was (3x) married to women. In January this year, my trusted lady passed away at age 87 and most men in my situation may overcome this terrible loss with the help of alcohol, drugs, or worse. Yet, I chose to compensate for my emotional pain by applying my new sexual freedom with new excitement. At that time I was in Santiago/ Chile and thought of visiting a Turkish sauna for men. There I met highly educated men. The first one was a barrister who looked at me and we enjoyed a conversation. After visiting the wet and dry sauna I went to where most men were relaxing. We had only a towel around the waist and that's where I met a barrister who looked at me and we enjoyed a conversation. I told him my sad story that this was my first visit to a men-only sauna and that I was looking to compensate for my emotional suffering with (the opposite) positive experiences. What then happened I was totally unprepared for ...this good man gently removed my towel and started to suck my penis. I felt shocked because I never experienced this from a man, and at the same time I felt this to be the perfect emotional compensation my heart was longing for. These men also respected my likes and dislikes. Thus, gradually I discovered that there were two types of homosexual men; active and passive ones. Since I was active, I very much enjoyed the offerings of passive men. I had to stay 3 more months in Santiago and so I went daily to saunas. In the last weeks, I had 6 men fighting each other for being with me. They tried to stop me from seeing others. - I told everyone: "Don't worry, you'll be next!", but it failed to stop their jealousy. I started to question myself "Who am I?" - Am I homosexual or bi-sexual? The only thing I'm certain about is that it really helped me to overcome the first 3 months of lamenting the demise of my dear wife. - Here, where I live, homosexuality is still frowned upon because there seem to be no saunas for men or other venues and I don't dare to tell my married friends about my experience. I would love to find out what you experienced people in this forum think about my personal experience.
Joh333.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. I, like you accepted my sexuality later in life. I was 64 when I came out and the years since have been good ones. I no longer live with the self-hate that I carried for so many years. I am glad that you have not had to deal with anything like that! *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBTQ folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. *****In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who may have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. …..David
