"Ladies First"

I hold doors open/let others go first regardless of gender. Though I'd hate to think ppl were polite to me because they thought I was a girl ... To be honest I'm more considerate to elderly people than I am to girls >.<

 

You're not a jerk for bein equal! Yeah I hate all this sexist shit like openin doors just for girls and--I just thought of sumthin else. This was back in 2010 when I was at my grandma's and I didn't know I was a guy. Anyway my brother and me were in the woods, and we were comin down this really steep part of some hill, and he like helped me basically come down it. I know that if I was born a cis dude he prolly wouldn't have done that.

So my point is, it's all this helpin girls with shit, and people never doin the same for guys. It's just so totally sexist. There's nuthin wrong with helpin a girl out in some way, or lettin them ahead, or holdin a door open, but if you don't do it for guys too, that's where it's messed up.

 

If I know the man or if he's elderly, I will do the everyday things like holding doors and letting them go in front of me. I don't *always* let women go in front of me bc I'm in a hurry a lot but I do most of the time. I'm more protective of women and more gentle toward them but certainly no more patient. I'm a feminist so, I think it's more of a habit. It's not about them being weaker; I just value women I don't know more than men I don't know. :badgrin:

 

Oh my god. This really pisses me off. I hold doors open for anyone regardless of gender and let people go ahead of me unless I'm in a hurry then I will just push my way through. I don't see why guys should always be expected to hold doors open for women, especially when the women aren't even grateful. It's stupid. I hate it when men let me go first because I know it's only because I'm female. Even before I knew I was trans it really pissed me off how guys would always go out of their way to hold a door open for me. I'm not incapable you know.

 

How is it sexist?

Most people have been brought up to be respectful of women and they simply doing a nice gesture. I don't think they think about it deeper, just that it is a nice thing to do, so how is being nice sexist?

 

I'm still chivalrous. I know... I know. I hate seeing females cry or hurt.

But I definitely hold doors for everyone. Oftentimes many people and lose track of my party.

 

I treat people equally depending on how they present to me. If somebody is strong and independent I won't try to help them as much as the weaker and more nervous people that I know. I hold doors open for anyone, offer my coat to anyone, shake hands with anyone. Some women need looking after and that's Ok, as long as people are aware that some men need it too. I think it works best based on personality rather than gender.

 

Because in a world where most women want to be treated as equal, it's profoundly annoying to be treated differently like this.

The thing is a lot of people would do something like this for women but not for a man. You've never heard the phrase "Males first" for anything and you never would.

So ask yourself, WHY the heck is it 'ladies first'?

 

At most, it now seems sexist against men. As a guy, I have to say that I'm OK with that. :lol:

 

I agree, I don't really have an issue with it. But I can see why people think it's very double-standards/unfair in a world all about equality.

 

I just hold the door for the next person as I go inside, or if they're carrying heavy objects, and I do agree that "Ladies first" is sexist Nyu~

 

It pissed me off when guys used to think they had a chance if they opened the door for me or let me in front. I used to laugh to myself and think ha not a chance mate, I like girls :roflmao:

 

Yeah, I've never heard 'Ladies first" in any context besides a joke. Like, who even says that anymore?

I hold the doors open for whoever's behind me (but I will admit, I sometimes linger if that someone's an attractive woman/man and I'm far enough ahead that I can technically, guilt-free close the door as I pass). But yeah. It's a weird double standard. Hold the door open for whoever's behind you, don't slam it on a guy, be a decent human being no matter what someone's gender is and you're good to go.

 

I'm the same way, I hold the door for everyone. I really don't like the whole "ladies first " thing. Every time a guy friend would tell me that, when holding the door for me or whatever, I'd always tell them, Well in that case go ahead.

 

In my experience, it's generally older and pervy men that still say it. Young guys generally don't. I think holding doors open for people is polite and not pushing past (though I do that a lot when I'm rushing) but the idea of holding a door depending on gender seems bonkers to me.

 

Not to go all gender-studies-professor or anything, but doesn't it just reinforce the cis/heteronormative gender binary? (Gawd, I love having an excuse, no matter how feeble, to use the phrase "cis/heteronormative gender binary"! See, I can't stop myself!)

I think that the implicit sexism is probably more bothersome to feminists who came to consciousness in the 60s and 70s, when the door-opening thing (and the jar-opening thing, and the tire-changing thing) came with implicit messages along the lines of "women are delicate, precious flowers who need to be assisted with even simple, mundane tasks" and "women are inherently and essentially different from men, and part of the difference is women's fundamental helplessness." Which we all now know is BS, right?

Oh dear, I've produced another screed. I'll stop now before I use up all the pixels.

 

Yeah one thing I've noticed since I've come out to my family is how they no longer expect me to cook at all and if I do it makes me less of a man, I'm expected to do the heavy lifting and carrying around the house though I'm not on t yet, have no muscles. In fact I'm TINY. I mean I'm not against a man carrying heavy items or reaching things that are too high because that makes sense if he's stronger and taller than a woman but expecting someone to automatically capable of those things just based on gender is stupid. I hate heteronormative society. If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't expect her to cook for me all the time and clean up after me like my mum and sister does for my dad and brother. Tbh I'd be embarrassed that I couldn't take care of myself but that's just me

 

Some people are inherently nicer to women because they are attracted to them. Some because they were raised that way, some because of religion, and some because they view women as more vulnerable.

Some people are inherently meaner to women for the same reasons.

You can't make everyone adhere to your standards of treatment or idealism toward one gender/sex or another, so it's best to just let it go.