is this weird?

So what are you going to do?

 

Are you going to come out as bisexual or gay? It's OK if you don't really know.

Whichever it is - you'll need to be brutally honest with yourself that you identify as {bisexual or gay} and accept and love yourself for it. Can you look in a mirror and say that you are {bisexual or gay} and proud? As you go through this exercise you'll identify issues that may prevent you from coming out, such as your parent's reaction, and what you will do about it. It sounds like despite what your parents have said, they will still love you if you come out. You may also want to come out to yourself first and get some experience before coming out to others.

 

Based on what you've posted, identifying as bi is a good start for you. I identified as bisexual before I had enough experience to be comfortable to come out as gay. Maybe you'll discover that you have a preference for guys or gals. Don't be afraid of being who you are. How do you feel right now? Do you have any reservations?

You've started on a journey to find yourself. We're here to support you along the way.

(&&&)

 

OK then find a BF and come out as gay ride: and my fate you will avoid

 

You don't have to be perfect and pick your orientation correctly upfront. When I identified as bi, I was married and had participated in enjoyable straight sex. After having sex with guys I realized what I had been missing. You aren't graded on picking your orientation. Relax and have fun. You'll figure it out.

---------- Post added 17th Aug 2015 at 12:41 PM ----------

You're a hard one to pin down. One moment you don't want to use bi as a cover up then the next minute you are embracing being bi. One moment being gay is bad then the next minute it's OK. This is why it was hard to determine your orientation from all your threads. You posted inconsistent and often contradictory information. I feel this inconsistency is your underlying source of confusion or possibly even an attempt to cover your tracks. It wouldn't surprise me if you are gay and terrified. It's your life and you need to figure out how to be authentic with yourself.

 

It's hard to support and advise you if you aren't focused on the important question at hand. Please try to focus your mind so you stop bouncing and find clarity on your orientation and what steps you are going to take next.

 

Oh, for Heaven's sake, don't try to be bisexual because of fear of boredom!

I *am* bisexual, and I've been exclusively with a woman for 29 years. There are many reasons I am increasingly interested in sex with men, but none of them are because I got bored with ff sex! Far from it.

Believe me, if sexual attraction is present, there is enough variation in sex with either men or women to keep you satisfied, entertained, and learning for years and years.

Pursue bisexuality because sex with both men and women sounds incredible to you...not because you feel having only one might get boring.

I think SF is giving you some good advice, btw. My only (fairly slight) difference is that I don't think it's worth worrying about whether to "come out as" gay or bi. When you're ready to be out (when you're comfortable with that), just *be* out...don't lie about whether you're seeing a man or woman; basically, don't *hide* your sexuality. Otherwise, just live and date people you're attracted to.

 

Thanks - It's actually not fair to yourself either. I'm more concerned that you focus on figuring out your sexuality for you, rather than bouncing around like you have been. At the end of the day I'm clear on my sexuality - I'm gay and proud ride:

---------- Post added 17th Aug 2015 at 05:46 PM ----------

We don't disagree - my original advice from #16 didn't address the topic of coming out. Page 2 of this thread turned into a Q&A with the OP since he suggested coming out. I agree with you (see #24) that the OP should probably get more clarity about his sexuality before coming out.

 

Thanks Theshreks.

It would be helpful to yourself if you could outline your plan for getting comfortable and then post periodic updates to EC. I know this is not easy, so biAnnika, I, and others on EC are here to support you by giving you feedback on your plan and progress.

(&&&)

 

I'm guessing that you are about to go to college, so you should have plenty of opportunity to explore both sides of your sexuality. You can create a new thread - call it "discovering myself" or "getting comfortable with my sexuality" - and post what you are doing to get comfortable with your sexuality. I'll make sure I subscribe to email updates on the thread so that I can support you along the way.

I'm worried that you seem to be paralyzed by over analysis. It seems that you have angst about getting your orientation right today and your thought process is still bouncing all over the place. The advice from biAnnika and me is a more experiential approach - operate as a bisexual (you don't need to come out) and find people of either gender to explore with or date. Have you tried Chip's masturbation challenge that can be helpful in determining orientation?

Bottom line: Real life experiences will tell you a lot more about you than reading EC while multitasking