Is lack of intelligence a deal breaker in a relationship?

well I reject the idea that intelligence can be accurately measured and something for which can be accounted without cultural and outside influence, but if I can't carry on a conversation with someone about say politics that has at least some effort put into it I can't date that person.

 

Intelligence is one of the key factors in any relationship I would ever want. My current partner is plenty smart, but isn't very mature yet, so I can't ever discuss anything with them without them getting bored.

 

I need guys who are intelligent or even just average in intelligence. But having low intelligence may be a deal breaker unless of course said guy was very skilful at reading emotions and looking after me. We wouldn't talk as much as if I had an high/medium intelligence bae. It would be a weaker relationship if he was low intelligence and that's all I have to say about that

 

In my opinion intelligence is subjective. If I am not intellectually stimulated by someone then it is a deal breaker. That's not to say they are unintelligent, or that I am of superior or inferior intellect, only that we're not intellectually compatible (this is the subjective part.) I think there are many facets of attraction and you must consider them all and decide which are most important to you.

 

It can be but I'm not even sure if "lack of intelligence" is a correct description of what I mean in this case. I have to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with someone or it's a turn off. A degree doesn't guarantee intelligence. I never went to college but I have a pretty good grasp of the world around me. I have no trouble if someone doesn't agree with me if they can cite valid reasons. The wives of a couple friends have degrees but they are so unaware of what makes the world go around that it annoys the hell out of me and I don't want to be around them. The thought of trying to reason with them, coming home to them or waking up next to them, or anyone like them whether male or female, is enough to cause nightmares. Maybe THAT'S why I sleep alone!:eusa_doh::lol:

 

I'm not a big fan of the "deal breaker" concept, I'm pretty open to being in a relationship with anyone. It's not going to be any one thing about a person because I don't think that is fair...

 

I hope not. I struggle with learning.

 

I apologise for sounding elitist, bu I need to be able to have an intelligent conversation with someone. At the very least they need to be open minded and imaginative. I'm not going to force them to have an IQ test but being (and acting) completely stupid is a complete turn off.

 

Its hard for two of different levels of intelligence to have common interests...I unintentionally find those with high levels of intelligence smug and pretentious while they see me as ignorant and simpleminded. I never try to judge others though we are in the same mix.

 

As long as we can engage on a relatively similar level, everything will be fine. If I try talking to them about something I care about, like politics, and they respond by saying 'oh yeah the brown haired guy is totally gay', I'd probably question the relationship.

Prejudice is a bigger dealer breaker. Racism in particular is something that I will not tolerate under any circumstances.

 

The person would have to be really, really dumb for me to write them off. Average or slightly below average intelligence I don't imagine would be a problem.

 

Yez, cuz:




Seriously though, I answered 'yes' in the poll. Of course, it depends on what you define intelligence as. My partner doesn't need to be Albert Einstein. However, they would have to be 'intelligent' enough for me to be able to discuss things with them. Not being able to do that would surely be a deal breaker.

 

It would probably be a deal breaker. I find people with whom I can have interesting conversations very sexy. The ideal date (to me) is having coffee and discussing things about life and what not. Basically I want intelligence and coffee in a relationship...

 

For me, any potential partner would have to be roughly on par with me as far as intelligence. They don't have to have all the same interests I do, (actually, that'd be kinda dull for both of us) but should have about the same intelligence. Too big of a gap there, and I don't think we'd be able to have a fulfilling relationship, as the person with significantly higher intelligence would likely feel something lacking, or the other person feel inadequate. Now, I do see a big difference between intelligence and education. Education doesn't need to be on par. One could only have graduated from the school of hard knocks (not even have a GED/HS Diploma) while the other has a PhD, and the relationship be just fine.

 

Definitely. Sometimes I enjoy intelligent conversation so if my partner can't reciprocate then I can't deal with them :/ However, I like guys who although aren't the smartest, know where they are in terms of intelligence and are genuinely funny because of this as they acknowledge their intelligence and joke about it. Guys who are just plain dumb and act like idiots all of the time are a giant turn off for me.

 

If I can't have a good conversation with them, yes. If they're just a bit thick sometimes, it wouldn't make too much of a difference to me.

 

Frankly, I have always had issues with threads such as this. They are too often flooded by comments from people who are under the impression that their academic background or ability to carry out a pseudo-philosophical discussion from time to time makes them intelligent.

The human brain is an organ. Intelligence is a measure of its ability to work at varying stages of efficiency.

This encompasses information retrieval, processing, and analysis. It does not affect the amount of knowledge known. It affects the speed at which one would acquire, understand, and articulate knowledge.

Words that should be being used:

Competent. Knowledgeable. Wise. Thoughtful. Educated. Witty. Studious. Astute. Perceptive. Insightful. Bright. Clever. Self-Aware. Etc.

Memorize the definitions. Pick the appropriate term. Learn the proper way to articulate your thoughts without alienating some of our most valuable and respected members who struggling with intellectual disabilities every single day. If nothing else, educate yourself sufficiently enough so that you are not walking around spouting ignorant claims about needing an intelligent partner in order to have meaningful conversations or successfully complete a trip to the grocery store together.

 

It depends on how intelligent they are. I don't mind if they aren't the smartest person I know, but I don't know I could deal with someone who's a complete dumbass.

 

I like this approach! These words give a better picture of what types of intelligence the individual possesses. For instance, some are studious but not wise, while others are witty and self-aware.

By dwindling down intelligence to having it vs not having it, i.e. the person is either intelligent or stupid, you're not giving a fair assessment of what the individual is capable of.

 

:eusa_clap

... Now, my 2cts... I don't agree with the OP about how he dealt with that guy. I also don't share his idea of intelligence. That being said, hey-ho-let's go...

1. What I'm looking for is someone who takes care of her/himself with a minimum of healthy self-confidence, or at least not filled by devastating self-hate that turns life into hell and pushes them to alcohol-drugs-younameit... I'll be there to catch you when you fall, and I kind of like to do that, but I am not your daddy or your personal Jesus, so try not to fall more than 50 times and refuse to go for a therapy, because I'll be gone for the time you are sobber/out of the hospital. I'm all but co-dependent.

2. That doesn't believe on her/his absolute supremacy over the rest of the population, and knows when and how to say Sorry, it was my fault, it won't happen again (... plus making some active efforts to fullfill this). Respect for other's opinions. If you are a fascist, go look for your suboordinates elsewhere.

3. Honesty. This is paramount.

4. Respect other's boundaries at all times. Jealousy and trying to control the other are also a major deal breaker for me.

5. Fairness.

That has nothing to do with the ability to carry neverending conversations about life and death, or to be an expert on existentialism, or being fluent in 5 languages, or sending patches to fix the Linux kernel and being an intimate friend of Richard Stallman (well, the last one would raise my interest on you :icon_wink).

For some reason my partners have been mostly on a search for knowledge, but that didn't turned them nicer and easy to get along with. At the end of the day, it's just about knowing she or he will understand you, comfort you, and you'll be able to give it back to her or him. This person will have a positive influence on you, and you on this person.
I could totally get along, love and have deep respect, for an analphabet girl from india as long as she was honest, cared about me and loved me the good way.
If I want or need deep philosophical conversations on tech stuff, I'll go to my friends and have my belly full of them.