My mum said that she used to be bi and was attracted to females but she is not anymore. Just a bit confused...
It apparantly went on for a while but she missed guys (She said how shes had squishes (without using that word) and I found it quite adorable :3)
Orientations do occasionally change, but very rarely. More likely, she's repressing her sexuality or lying. Not to say that she's a liar or anything, but just statistically...
I've heard of some people being "ex-gay" before but I never understood that. I'm thinking how in the world can someone say they're gay, then decide "huh, I'm gonna be straight now." and just call it being "ex-gay." Doesn't even make since... :eusa_doh:
I mean, even with my sexuality, I never thought, yes I am definitely straight, and then I did research, realized I wouldnt have an issue about going out with someone other that my opposite sex and it all flowed from there.. Maybe, she is still bi, but predominantly hetero?
I think some people have much more fluid sexuality. You can't force change, but I have friends who aren't repressed in any way or in any position to be ashamed who find new words for their sexuality all the time. Maybe you don't want to know the details of your mom's sex life (lol) But it's probably more complicated than "I was bi but now I'm not" Plus, there's a little truth to young people going through a "bi-phase", experimentation, that some people would call bicurious but the line between -curious and -sexual is blurred sometimes. If she identifies as straight now it may just be because she did have a "phase" or knew the right woman, back then or explains away her feelings as something else now. Some people are very concretely this or that some just aren't.
This is a sensitive topic and people will tell you that it's impossible she is lying or whatever. The truth is we have no answers. Your mom could be telling the truth or she could be lying. Everyone is different.
The way I see it, why can't sexuality change? We all know that the spectrum of sexual orientations is very fluid for some people, so wouldn't the ability to fall into and out of different orientations be part of that fluidity? I don't know, maybe that's just me. I think it's also because I feel that I, myself, switched orientations. I was straight up until a few years ago and the realization of my bisexuality was a bit of an epiphany. I can't be the only person who has experienced this. I have a feeling that this might be the case with your mother, sillyolme.
The issue is that we try to fit sexuality into neat ilttle boxes (straight, bi, gay), and it's really a continuum that's a lot more nuanced than that. I doubt your mom's orientation has really shifted much. More likely, by her own description, she sounds like she was mostly straight and had a little bit of attraction to women, which she acted on, but which she didn't stick with, either because she was psychologically uncomfortable with it (the most likely answer, particularly if she's trying to talk you out of being bisexual or lesbian) or because she simply liked men better.
She is completely fine about my sexuality (was a bit of a shock to her) (off topic a bit) It's strange, cause many people have trouble telling friends, let alone family. I treated it like I wanted the whole world to know about it, because I felt so achieved of finally discovering myself. I guess its harder in different communities and cultures. FYI, My mum is a pretty big christian, and I was still cool with it. Its really strange
