Is being gay a downfall?

I don't think so. Not for me anyway. But I guess it depends on the person.

 

I use to see it as a down fall; But not anymore

 

I don't believe it is. I believe that for me it is pivotal to how I became who I am--and I like me, so... I always sort of think about something my sister once said to me. My sister probably turned out to be the most homophobic person in my family--she was polite but cold for quite some time after I came out. Then it sort of started to thaw and one day when I was visiting family she pulled me aside to talk about it. She explained how hard it had been for her and how she couldn't understand how I could be gay because in her mind I was too good of a person. She couldn't understand how I could be the way I was and still be gay. But finally she came to realize--and here she begged my forgiveness if she had misunderstood--that perhaps I wasn't a good person despite being gay, but maybe I was a good person because I was gay. She said it almost seemed to her as she became more acquainted with all of it, that the qualities she admired in me (kindness, empathy, refusal to judge others) were the qualities that being gay had actually fostered.

I feel like she's right--I think I'm a better, more capable person for the experience of being gay and in that sense I think my life has been made better, possibly even easier, for it. And to be honest as far as the societal stuff I think we sometimes let it weigh on us more than it needs to--once I was out and truly comfortable (and I came out twenty years ago in Utah) I really haven't experienced much in the way of societal opprobrium. I honestly feel like it's the fear that twists things--before I was out I just knew that being gay would ruin my life. It just never materialized. There will be a person from time to time who doesn't approve of you, but that happens to straight people too. In my experience if you are decent and kind to people and you honestly expect them to be decent and kind back, they are--almost without exception.