Hey guys, names David and I just recently joined EC for advice/guidance Here's my story: I've known my best friend for a good 5years. We met in 6th grade, and became the best of friends. As the years go by, I've noticed an attraction to this guy. This is the first time I've felt about a guy, and this is my best friend. I've never been attracted to any guys, just him. I think I'm falling in love with him He's funny, kind, sensitive, and a jock. We know each other inside and out and we know what each other like a our biggest secrets as well as fears. He has been giving me weird signals ever since the 8th grade that would suggest to me he is into me. Here are some examples : 1. When he sees a friend, he would give some kind of handshake, but when he sees me, he gives me a big hug and would feel me. 2. He touches my *** a lot and sometimes by **** 3. When I talk to a guy friend and in ignore him, he said " you're replacing me with _____!" and he starts looking sad 4. He held my arm like a guy would put his arm around a girl, and went up to my teacher and said " me and _____ are dating" 5. During class, he holds my arm, sometimes he smells me, he kissed my neck and when we went out of class, he kissed me on the cheek and dashed away. ( this happened in public during class) 6. Our friend asked me if he was gay for me 7. He always says " I love you" 8. He said, "_____ You're the only guy that I would go gay for" in a serious manner 9. He always stares at me and smiles 10. He never had his first kiss Reasons I would assume he is not gay/bi/whatever: 1. He has had girlfriends in the past 2. He sends me links of porn websites 3. He is a pervert and always checks out girls I think I'm falling in love with this guy. During freshman year, I avoided my best friend at all costs, trying to sort out my feelings and forgetting about him, but I couldn't! Now it's sophomore year and I don't know what to do. It's so hard to not have what you want the most and I want him. I regret for not showing any physical affection to my friend as he did to me in middle school. And the fact I'm falling in love with this guy is killing me. I want to tell him I love him. I want hold And caress him. What would happen if I told him? Would there be a chance we could be together? I'm so scared, because what happens if he doesnt accept me? Im straight and yet I'm falling head over heels with this guy. Has anyone been in the same situation before Additional details: I saw him the first time in a year, we made intense eye contact for a good 10seconds before I passed him, and we were both smiling at each other. I can't get thr picture of him out of my head! I tried to distance myself away from him for a good year, but it isn't working. I'm afraid that we might drift apart from each other. I miss him... What should I do?
I'm in a similar situation. I never thought I was "straight" per se, but I thought I was asexual with an occasional crush on another girl that I could easily dismiss. Then, I fell head over heels for my bestie a couple years ago, and have been struggling with the same exact thing. I got so emotional keeping everything in that eventually I told my parents, who were surprisingly supportive. Personally, I haven't told her for fear of endangering our friendship, which is priceless to me, but this comes at a great cost. It's a hard burden to bear when you can't be open 100% with a friend when you want to so badly. Though I can't bring myself to do it, I think your friend would be more than understanding if you decide to tell him, even if he does feel that way for you. (though it sounds like he really might!) Hope that helped in SOME way.
Well, did you guys communicate at all for the whole year that you did not "see" him? I think it might be a bit odd to admit deep feelings for him after not being in much contact with him for a year. Anyway, back in middle school, those were definitely some pretty gay things he said/did. Having girlfriends and checking out girls doesn't necessarily make a guy straight. Many gay guys(before they accept it) do that in order to fit in and/or try to suppress their gay feelings. If you really care for this guy, I would try to start hanging out with him again and see how things go. If things starts to get back to how they were in middle school, then you might have a chance. That's a really sweet story though. :love:
If you think he's into you - just ask him to come spend the night and talk it out. After hanging out for hours, people tend to be easy going about talks like this. Even if it's a little uncomfortable, It'll probably be fine since you guys are so close.
He sounds like he has something for you. Especially if he says he would only go gay for you, kisses you in public, etc. If I had to guess he is bisexual and realizing he likes guys as well as girls through his friendship with you. Good Luck!
Well it does sound like there's something there, but on the other hand, my best friend does similar things and he is straight, he's just comfortable with his own sexuality so much so that he doesn't really care? If that makes sense..
Have you talked to him about it yet? In my experience sometimes when friends get very close to the point of being best friends sometimes feelings for one another get very strong. When you have all those feelings sometimes its very hard to sort them out. When you're an adult you tend to want to express them physically. That may be the case with your friend. Maybe he's not gay. You guys have been very close for a very long time and maybe the lines are a bit blurred for him. IDk, sometimes my bestfriend and I hold hands. We're not gay , its just that we have a lot of 'feelings' going on for one another at that time. We care about each other a lot and sometimes its just really hard to express. My friend means a lot to me. Open up to him. Just say xyz, I've noticed that sometimes you do xyz and I feel xyz about it. What's going on? Before you ask that though, rekindle the friendship. You two have not been interacting with each other for a year now so that question will be pretty awkward if you don't work on becoming close to one another again.
It seems like he wouldn't have a bad reaction to it. And it would give an explanation as to why you've been avoiding him. He's probably expecting something along those lines
Given everything that has happened in the past, I would ask him about it. It seems like he is the type of person who is going to be your friend regardless, so what do you have to lose? It might work out. At least you'll know either way.
I was still waiting for the part where you told me he was straight lol.. Your friend's into you. That's not normal communication with one another. At all. And I'll tell you like I tell everyone else in this situation, you have to weigh your friendship and ask yourself if it's worth an intimate encounter with the person because it's very hard to go back to what you were after that... I do believe that this bond he has for a guy, is just for you. And that he's in a spell of sorts that tells him it's likely wrong, but he can't help himself around you. If you want it to stop, or you want to label it and figure out what's going on between you two, then you just have to have a conversation about your feelings and let him know that it means more to you than he thinks. That way, if he's straight, he can adjust his behavior around you. And if he's gay, you guys can come to a resolution on how to go forward. It certainly can't/won't stay like this. If he's oblivious to the fact that he appears gay when he's all over you like this, then he'll figure it out sooner or later (likely junior/senior year when you're more mature people) You just have to take a break from this kind of non verbal communication and have a talk with him about everything that's going on. I talk to a straight guy right now on FB that I know is bi curious, but he'll tell me he's not.. he's either very..."comfortable" or he's flirting with me when we chat by showing me his body and what not.. You just have to do your part and let them know that you're gay.. and if that doesn't do the trick, let them know that you're gay and the kind of friendship you have is confusing and even though you don't want it to stop it's probably the best thing to avoid things from becoming more complex. The last thing you want is to fall for this guy and then watch him walk off with a chick. You have to do some damage control and stop the forward progress of those feelings. It's better to be hurt now than later, if at all.
