Saw a girl crossing the street who reminded me of this girl I knew... then a wave of pain hit me. Because it told me that I liked girls, that I liked her for the last 3 years, and that there’s nothing I can do about it. All I’ve ever been in life is rejected and I can’t stand it anymore. I’ve never had a relationship or anything. I hate feeling this way. I’m so ashamed of myself. I can’t even bring this up to my therapist. It’s too much pain. I didn’t realize how much of an effect she has had on me until today. I haven’t even seen her in 2 years... and I still feel pangs of pain, jealousy of who she is with, and sorrow.
I'm so sorry this is painful for you. The fact that this gives you so much pain is precisely why you need to bring this up with your therapist. You need to confront these feelings, and then work to resolve them. Burying these feelings back down won't help you.
This sounds so strange. I consider myself average, self aware to an extent, and I know what I know and don't pretend to know what I don't. Nothing special. I've found people, both guys and girls want to talk. They want to feel loved and wanted as much as you do. So either you are chasing the completely wrong people or expressing yourself in a way that doesn't entice them. I'm not trying to be mean or blame you in any way, its just that its not society's fault. If you want a relationship, you have to find someone who is compatible with you. Once the ball gets rolling and confidence flows things get better.
It’s definitely the latter rather then the former. I think it’s who I am as a person that doesn’t entice people, unfortunately. Personality and all. I understand what you’re trying to say. I have to look at reality and not pretend that it’s outside forces affecting my inability to make connections
