So this may be a tad lengthy but I HAVE to get this off of my chest. I am a girl and i recently just got out of a 3 year relationship with a guy. I broke up with him and I didn't care at all, I felt nothing. No remorse, no pity. Nothing. So about 6 months before the break up, I became friends with a sophomore (I'm a senior about to graduate). I'll call her B. So, I always considered myself straight, since I was in a relationship with a guy for three years and ive dated plenty of other guys but when I became friends with B, I began to feel feelings id never felt before. I'm not a girly girl, and I've always thought girls were attractive, but I never thought anything of it until her. We are EXACTLY alike. People have told me that we are like the same person in two different bodies. We both love music theory (she's the only person I've ever been able to have a deep conversation about music theory with) and we both unicycle and we have the same views and ideas and she is sooo beautiful and... She has a boyfriend but she doesn't really care about him that much.. She just isn't into relationships like most people... Since I broke up with my boyfriend, I can't stop thinking about her. I even started writing a book based on my feelings just so I could get it off my chest but I really need to tell someone. I know that I love her. I love her in a way that I never loved my boyfriend. I don't get annoyed or frustrated or jealous of anything like that when it comes to her because I just genuinely care about her so much. I would do anything for her. She got a big acheivement in our band the other day and I cried because I was so happy for her and proud of her. She is just such a wonderful person, and when I look at her, I just to kiss her so bad... I know this is long but please read and respond because I don't know what to do... I haven't told ANYONE about these feelings. I don't think I could tell her.. I really don't want to ruin our friendship because she is the best friend I've ever had, but it kills me when she grabs onto my arm and leans her head on my shoulder and I want it to mean so much more than it does. And I just hate it because I feel like I want her more than I should but I can't stop. God, this sounds so dramatic and I swear I'm not a dramatic person. And I hate the whole concept of love in today's society and I would never say that I love her if I didn't mean it. But I do. So much. She does lean on me and hug me and is pretty affectionate but I'm sure it's purely platonic, I don't know, because for me, it never felt platonic. Sorry I'm rambling, it's just..... I love her.... And I want her... And I don't know what to do... Please give advice or share personal stories... Anything will help, I feel so alone. We have conversations about gays and stuff and we both talked about how there is nothing with it and she is like the least judgemental person, but I still am so scared... I can't even fathom telling her
