1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm lost

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Anonyme, Aug 7, 2021.

  1. Anonyme

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2021
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Québec
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi! Just wanted to start by saying that I'm not speaking fluent english so I hope you guys will understand what I'm trying to say ahah..

    I'll just start by giving some informations on me, maybe it wills help.
    I'm a 16 years old boy. I'm mature, I overthink a lot, I'm always here to help my friends, I'm trying to make people happy, I try to denounce injustices,etc. A lot of people say that I'm a truly good person. Unfortunetaly, I never really liked my life. I find it just boring you know? I was always alone, never been in a real relationship, etc. You see the guy in your friend group that if he was there or not, it wouldn't bother? Yeah it's kind of me. I was just tired of being sad in life so I started to go out with people since the start of the summer vacation. I started to meet online people, etc. And oh god.. I did a 4 hours travel to meet a trans-girl. (A guy that wanted to be a girl. I'm really sorry it's the first time for me talking about that so I don't know how to say everything perfectly and less in English. I come from somewhere where all the LGBTQ, etc is really really '' discuting '' and shits so..). I knew this girl for almost a year online. She is special. I don't know how to describe that. She's really silent, don't really talk about her problems, don't really give a f*ck about something.. you know? But she was chill so, why not meet her you know? Before taking my bus to go there, a friend told me that he was sure that she had a crush on me.. I wasn't ready for this information. Even if I didn't know if it was real or not, I started thinking a lot.. Like.. I never liked guys, but she's trans so it's chill no? I know that like 70% of my friends will legit bully me to be with someone trans even if it doesn't really bother me.. But I wasn't sure. I never judged someone to be gay, trans, bi, etc. But I never asked myself if I was into. Anyways, me and her passed like 4 days together. I think that I fall in love with her.. she's so cute to my eyes.. but I don't know if she feels the same way I do. Like I said earlier, she's not really talking about her thoughts or feelings so I can't just dm her. I'll like to see her again but like I said, it's a 4 hours travel so it's hard for us to meet up.. Since I'm back home, I just do nothing. Everything seems boring. The feeling of love is so weird to me.. everytime I loved someone I got i got betrayed and hurt so it's hard for me to love someone again.. Also, I don't wanna lose her. Like, even if I'm pretty sure that I have a crush on her, I don't want to stop talking if she doesn't feel the same way. I really appreciate her. There's a lot of emotions in me while reading this cause I'm just confused on if it's '' correct '' to be straight and like trans? If she likes me? And a LOT more that I didn't explain here..

    Like I said, I'm not speaking well English and I don't really know the LGBTQ+ community so if I do mistakes or things like that, please just tell me instead of quibbling me ..

    If you're still here, thank you it's really appreciated. Have a good one <3
     
  2. Lemony

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2020
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    138
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    She’s trans. Trans women are women so unless you’ve liked guys before, you’re still straight.
    Welcome to EC
     
  3. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    You are 16, your life has barely started, you have decades to live life and have relationships.

    She is not a guy who wants to be female. She is female but assigned male at birth.

    As Lemony said, trans women are women if a man is interested in women then that is a straight interest. I am a woman who was assigned male at birth. I am married to a cis man. Our relationship is a straight relationship.

    Then you should cut those people out of your life, they are not worth being around. Friends are people who care about you and support you.
     
  4. CharlieLuca

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2021
    Messages:
    211
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    The Milky Way
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I agree with Lemony and QuietPeace here.

    What I will add though, is just to follow your heart. If you feel like you like her, tell her how you feel. And if you're worried well you don't have to. But don't be afraid. As QuietPeace said, you're 16. You've still a lot to experience. The night is young but live your best life, live your life for you, don't live it in fear and don't live it how other people want you to live it. Do what feels right. You got this!
    But for what it's worth if you're worried that you're experiencing feelings that aren't 'straight' per say.... Well the person you like is a woman so yeah.
     
    Anonyme and Lemony like this.
  5. masterofnone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2021
    Messages:
    121
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    trans women are women. forget what your friends say if you like her you like her. hope everything goes well for you. i also didn’t have many friends at 16. but hey the more you put yourself out there the more you find socialising easier
     
    Anonyme likes this.
  6. Anonyme

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2021
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Québec
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    " What I will add though, is just to follow your heart. If you feel like you like her, tell her how you feel. And if you're worried well you don't have to. But don't be afraid. "

    Yeah I understand.. the problem is that either I'm good with just being friends but I think that if we are together we can make something you know?
    I don't wanna lose her just cause it's weird that I have a crush on her..


    And thanks everyone for helping me understanding.. like I said I don't know a lot. I don't wanna hurt anyone and I fully support everyone.
     
    masterofnone likes this.
  7. CharlieLuca

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2021
    Messages:
    211
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    The Milky Way
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi Anonyme.

    I totally understand where you're coming from in the fact that you don't want to jeopardize your friendship .. I really do understand and I get why you're scared. Maybe you don't have to tell/ask her directly that you have a crush on her, maybe to start with you could build up to it like maybe ask her what her type is or if she's into anyone though I don't know because I don't want you to get hurt either if hyperthetically she gave you the answer you weren't hoping to hear, which I really hope you do get the answer.

    Like I said before, don't be afraid.

    Another option is you could write her a letter or send her a voice message or video message or something expressing your feelings. That way you have time to plan what you're going to say and equally the girl you like has time to acknowledge and process what you said and think about what she's going to say .. rather than there being the awkward on the spot pressure cos that isn't comfortable.

    Sorry, I'm kinda worried I'm not making sense anymore, if I was at all.

    Good luck, Be Strong and Don't give into fear. Whatever you decide to do. :slight_smile: