Hello everyone, I've known I am a bisexual (M) for a long time, I've never really done much about it. I'm mostly ashamed of it, I've had sexual experience with gay sex workers in the past but not enjoyed it. I have a family and I enjoy sex with my partner but feel like I'm only honest about half of my self. I find myself fantasising about sex with men a whole lot more these days. I don't want to cheat on my partner but want to be honest to myself and others about who I am. What do I do?
i think you are doing it. You say you want to be honest to yourself and others about who you are, and you just did that. You took a step in that direction, how far you go remains to be seen. One possibility is to talk to a professional counselor who can help you sort this out, there's lots of individual complexities we here may not know about. i do agree with you about the cheating thing. As i see it, that can just make a difficult position worse. Part of the anxiety you are feeling is not presenting to others as your true self. i think "cheating" is really a further denial of who and how you are. It's taking a vital part of your self and reducing it to shameful, something you hide. It's sort of like starving and stealing in order to eat, survive. Who and how you are, your attraction to both sexes, is not bad or shameful. i think that would be a good place to start, coming to terms with your feelings of shame over a part of you that is just as valuable and wonderful as any other part.
bisxual…..Hello and a big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent! ) when that becomes necessary! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out, join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBTQ folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. *****In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who may have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. I think what @tallslenderguy said is very good advice. I was in a somewhat similar situation. I wasn't cheating on my wife, but I was keeping the secret of my sexuality from her. Finding a therapist that lists working with the LGBTQ Family as part of their practice would be a very, very good idea. I know that talking to a therapist made a tremendous difference for me. He helped me a great deal. With his help and the wonderful people here on Empty Closets I was able to finally come out to my wife. I was very fortunate as she was very accepting and we are still together. Without the help of my therapist I would not have been able to do that. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something”. When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. Only A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) and then only to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. …..David
