I left EC for a while. If anyone's wondering why, it's actually cuz I thought I was crazy for thinking I was trans. I pushed it out of my mind for two whole weeks. Of course now, it's coming back in a deluge :/ looks like I'm back to stay!
Good to know you're back. I find I tend to do something similar ("You're crazy. Stop it. You're not trans, you're just.... being weird. Stop. You're just being a special snowflake. You're fine being a girl. Stop thinking about it)." You're not alone in feeling crazy. I think maybe everyone feels crazy when they're just figuring things out. But we're not crazy. This is real.
I've had those times too. I tried to think of everything as a phase for quite a while... yeah, not going away.
Yeah, I know the feel. Back in May last year, I want through two weeks believing I was a man almost completely. But after that time, I realised the struggle was futile. A girl cannot pretend to be a man when she isn't one, that I know. Welcome back and I hope everything is going okay with you.
Yeah, glad I'm not the only one (though from the other end of the spectrum, it's basically still the same) I've been pushing it away for years, I tell you. It kept popping up now and then, sometimes because of a newsflash or science show/article about transpeople, sometimes just without any reason, but I pushed it away each time, repeating "No! I'm a girl!" to myself each time. But yeah, it's a futile struggle, and one day it'll come back and hit you like a sledgehammer right in the face.
