But I don't. I'm really not legally allowed to. Hello again everyone. I haven't posted in a long while, it seems. I honestly wish I was able to help everyone a bit more, but I've no idea how to, seeing as I can hardly relate to most posts. But anyway, I come here again with a small problem of my own. It's nothing to do with gender or sexuality or anything LGBT related. So, for the past year/two years, I've been homeschooled (well, cyberschooled). I love it, I do, because it gives me more freedom with my day. But lately, I feel like school in general just isn't worth it. I mean, math's useful to a certain point, as is English, but history and such, and things like (after a point) science and calc/trig/and after a point, algebra, this school work seems completely unnecessary. Mainly, I feel like being in school isn't necessary because I'd really rather just spend my life working in a bookstore or somewhere comfortable and living in a small house (I'd love to live in a commune, honestly), and live my life how I want to and not just get pushed into "the next step" - aka, right out of highschool and into the world of college and likely debt. And to add to the fact that I hate that I can't do anything about school right now because I'm only in 9th grade (U.S.), there's also band. Band has been annoying the crap out of me for the past two years now. Everyone has changed so much since I first joined. It's not fun anymore. It's certainly not worth my time. But, I'm not allowed to quit because it's the only social interaction I get. Personally, I don't believe that bad social interaction that just puts me in a bad mood is better than no social interaction at all. It feels like what used to be my refuge, my safe haven and my thinking place (aka the band room) is now a loud, unreasonable, hate-filled area where nobody seems to actually care about band and nobody is nice to anyone anymore. I don't want to go to band anymore. I don't want to do any other sports/activities either. No activites where I live are fun, at least not to me. I just wish I had more control over my life, and I hate not being able to do anything (or at least it certainly feels like I can't do anything) to change it. I believe the only things that are stopping me from packing my stuff and leaving are the fact that I've got three cats to look after (and whom I love very much and would take them with me if I could) and the fact that I'd feel pretty guilty about leaving my family to wonder and worry about me (even though sometimes I seriously wonder why I bother caring about them especially when it seems like they could care less, unless they need something from me). I think this post is a bit all over the place, but I think I kept it together. Kind of. Thanks for any help/suggestions/etc that may come.
As far as band, can you try to find some other form of social interaction to trade it with? If I were you, I would do some searching for anything in your area you could do and try it out, see if you like it and like the people. It sounds like a change would be good for you. I don't really know what I can say about school. I think to get a job even just in a bookstore you need to at least finish high school. I'm not sure. But I think it would be good to finish it out just so that you can keep your options open. It's difficult, and a lot of the time it feels like it's not worth it (I know that feel) but I'd just stick with it. Also know that I'm here to talk. And vent. You know. Good luck with everything in your life. Things will turn for the better, but I hope they do soon! <3
Yeah, I know I can talk to you, thanks! I've been contemplating taking up cross-country running again, but I'm not sure. I think I may. I'd love to do karate, but it costs money that can't be spared at the moment I know I really should finish highschool, and I don't think it'd be as bad if band didn't take up four hours of my day, every day, because it just feels like too much. And then for marching band there's football games (U.S.) which aren't in the least bit entertaining, and parades, and then during the week with normal practice, by the time I get home I'm so annoyed from having to deal with the other band members that I want to do nothing but sit and read. Which really puts me off schoolwork. I think I shall attempt cross-country next year, and I may see if I can just do concert band (the current director's a bit of a jerk, and has the all-or-nothing view on band, which makes it almost impossible to do concert but not marching and vice versa). Thanks for the reply, it kind of really got me thinking on what else I could do instead of band!
