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I think I might be a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by AnxiousReader, May 9, 2023.

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  1. Searching2022

    Searching2022
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    I have heard many people say that, and I experienced the same thing myself, but then I asked myself a question: When I was in denial, if I had as strong hetero thoughts as I do about being with a guy (sexual, romantic) would I say 'its just a fantasy, I really think I am gay" - but many people who are gay/lesbian do the opposite. Another common thought is "I am not really gay until I have sex"
     
    #21 Searching2022, May 13, 2023
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  2. Ntina21

    Ntina21
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    Butterflies never lie :slight_smile: Sounds silly but sometimes just listening to your feelings and emotions is the clear answer
     
    #22 Ntina21, May 15, 2023
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  3. AnxiousReader

    AnxiousReader
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    Yeah. I do know that I’m happiest when I’m with women. Like I’m happy when I’m with my current crush and when I think about being happy with someone for a long time it’s her. I don’t think I could long term be happy with a guy.
     
    #23 AnxiousReader, May 15, 2023
  4. AnxiousReader

    AnxiousReader
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    Yeah and this is a big part of why I wonder if I am in fact gay. Like I feel like it’s impossible to ignore that being brought up in a heteronormative society has obviously had an effect on me like it has for everyone.
     
    #24 AnxiousReader, May 15, 2023
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  5. Searching2022

    Searching2022
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    Well its what you would have unconsciously tried to adapt and conform to and probably unconsciously assume is right. So for me, if I was finding women attractive but couldn't get aroused, I kept thinking it was something 'wrong' with me - not even in a shameful or guilty way just that something wasn't working right.

    On the romantic/sexual orientation thread Chip bought up a useful analogy:
    "all of the emotions for the same-sex partner starts flooding in. And once that genie is out of the bottle, it's pretty much impossible to put it back. He's put on the studio headphones, and now the dollar-store ones sound tinny."
    From what I have read here, most people are not "100%" gay. I occasionally see women I think it wouldn't be bad to have sex with, I had girlfriends before, but nothing compared to my gay sexual experiences.
     
    #25 Searching2022, May 18, 2023
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