Where do I start? My story is the same as some of the others. Im crushing on a friend of mine and of course he's straight, as far as i know. I met him earlier this year at my college in one of my classes. When I first met him i thought he was gay, i just got that vibe from him. But he ended up mentioning that he has a girlfriend and occasionally talks about her. The thing is that I really like him. At first I thought this was just a harmless crush and i would be over it like usual. Unfortunately, i was wrong and now i can't stop thinking about him. Even my friends say I'm sprung on him because I talk about him a little too much lol. He's a really great guy, he's nice, smart, talented, funny, and also cute. I thought that we would just be class buddies and only talk at school. But we have hung out outside of school and he mentions he wants to hang during the summer . Anyways, I know that for the most part he is straight and theres no chance of us ever even being together and knowing that bothers me. I can't help think that maybe he is gay and that maybe it could happen, it doesn't help when one of my friends encourages it and tells me she thinks he is gay and says that ill have him soon. But it just gives me false hope and it sucks even more. I really do like him and enjoy being around him. He makes me feel nice. I just don't want to feel this way for him anymore. I still want him as a friend. But i just want to see him as a friend, instead of torturing myself thinking about him 24/7. Thats what I'm doing as I type this. Thinking about him, his smile, his laugh. I miss him already. F*ck, this sucks. I feel like shit. :bang: So i come here to seek some advice on what to do. I don't want to stop talking to him. Like i said, I want to keep him as a friend. I think that maybe the best thing is to just wait it out. Until maybe i get over him… Let me know what you guys think. also he doesn't know I'm gay yet. I want to tell him but i just get really nervous and chicken out
You might offer up that you are gay and see what he says.. if you have any chance with him that will be his opportunity to tell you.. Make sure you speak with him alone. If you are feeling brave you can tell him you think he is cute and see how he reacts.. In truth though, I think it is best to let it be... Sounds like you have a crush on him and need to find a way to move past it. Don't feel bad, I know it sucks, but lots of people end up in similar situation...
Thanks for your response.. well I'm planning on telling him soon, as for admitting that i think he's cute idk. Thats a little weird. It could put us both in an awkward situation. And i still wanna hang out with him like normal. I don't wanna weird him out.. Besides while i was online i saw his girlfriends profile and and it seems like they're really into each other. So i don't think theres any hope for me..
eh, admitting you are gay will open the door either way. if he is taken, he probably wouldn't be able to have a relationship with you. If he cheats on her with you, once a cheater always a cheater (Sorry, that is just how I feel about it).. In which case you probably don't want him regardless of how hot or attractive he might be. once you are out for a bit, you could casually tell him "you know I had a crush on you a while back"..and see what he says... if he is cool, he'll probably just be flattered and move on. but at least then you'll have aired out everything on your mind... But if you are 21 and in LA, you are going to be fine. This is a huge pond we live in and there are loads of hotties out there ripe for the pickin...
Are there any indications that ge might fancy you? Or that he's not straight? Sometimes the first impression's correct! Well, you want to get over him without either of you getting hurt.. That might prove impossible. If you have feelings as strong as you say, they probably won't just go away. I would take my distance, and try to focus on other things. If he is around you all the time (in school and/or private) you'll only be reminded of why you love him. If you can muster up the courage, tell him why and that you don't want to lose him as a friend, it might be easier for him to accept why you distance yourself from him. If he's accepting of hbtq, the friendship won't be as hard to repair. Well, that's just me ^^ take your time and make a decision, don't rush it. Good luck!
well i came out to him today. We hung out almost all day today and it was awesome. I wanted to tell him in person but i got too nervous and i chickened out. But i felt like i had to tell him, so i ended up texting him. And wow where do i start. He was super cool and cute about it. He said he didn't know and that he didnt mean to make me feel weird with some of the jokes he said. That its totally cool with him and he doesn't have anything against it at all. Then he mentioned that he felt special because i told him and that he still wants to hang with me, that we can hang for "decades". I can keep going on about the cute stuff that he said. I was beyond happy after this. It was like a weight was lifted off of me. and All i could do is smile. That was the highlight of my day, honestly. It kinda sucks though because i got to know him better today and i just started liking him even more Anyways Well honestly I'm the worst at taking hints sometimes so i don't know if the things he does are friendly or he's actually being a bit flirty. But obviously i just brush it off as being friendly. At first i thought he was gay, it wasn't until after like the 3rd week that he mentioned his gf and figured he was straight. Like sometimes its hard for me to make friends, mostly with guys and especially when they're cute. But he is honestly a really great guy. He is quite mature for his age and smart. He's funny, nice, generous, easy to talk to and also appreciative. And i would really like to keep him around, I don't just want to stop talking to him. But i also know that maybe oppressing my feelings isn't a great idea. Idk what to do honestly. But thanks for your advice guys. I think i still have to think more about this. This is probably the biggest crush I've had. its also only my second one sooo haha.
WOOT!! Congrats on coming out.. I am sure you feel better....(*hug*) So glad to hear he is being a great friend about it... that is really important...
haha thanks. i do. He really is, i wasn't expecting him to be that sweet about it. and fortunately he was. I can't stop smiling now. I'm such a loser haha
What a great friend! In my experience, one way I can get over a crush is to be sure he is straight. It's a lot easier when they have a girlfriend. Another way to get over your crush is to focus on other guys, especially ones who seem to reciprocate your interest. You could even use your friend as a model for what you want in a guy.
he really is great. Im sure he is straight, but yet I'm not completely sure. It sucks because i just keep hoping he might not be and I'm being a denial lol. Ive actually been talking to some other guys on a dating site. But I'm not into them i guess. Like they're nice guys and all. But i don't feel a click like i do with this guy. so it makes it difficult to actually want to talk to them without thinking of my friend. Its funny though because usually I'm really horny like all the time and yea i admit i have hooked up with some guys. But lately i haven't been feeling it. I get horny still, but not that much lol. I don't really think of having sex with him, i think of us laying in bed watching a movie and cuddling which sounds really nice.
Great to hear that you found the courage to tell him and that he reacted as a good friend should! That's awesome. I think you should trey to decide what to do. Keep hoping and try to figure out his sexuality (asking, telling him how you feel etc.) Or keep him as a friend and really decide that its not worth the risk. I, myself, would probably tell him my feelings and telling him that I might need some space until I get a grip. Telling him you don't want to stop hanging out, but if you need space sometimes, he needs to understand. If he is the guy you think he is, he would probably understand. If you were a girl, he would. After all, it's just feelings, which doesn't differ between guys or girls. I'm not saying you should do the above, I don't think its wrong to see if there might be something. I'm stubborn, so I probably would ^^ Think it through, and I hope it all works out well! Keep us posted!
Idk im not the kind to express my feelings to people, especially not to a guy I'm crushing on. I would probably throw up while I'm telling him haha. I keep thinking that i should just forget about it and get over him. But every time i think that, someone always tells me the same thing "there might be something" and it gets me thinking about him all over again. And it feels like I'm just getting my hopes up for nothing. i just saw him like 2 days ago and i already miss him. I can't wait to hang out with him because its gonna be the first time i see him since i came out to him.
So ever since i came out to him he has been using more smiley faces. not a lot, but he didn't use them before. also, is it weird that he added my friend on instagram? he doesn't really know her. he met her once for like 2 seconds and we planned on hanging out together next week. But thats it. and for some reason it made me a little jealous that he did that… what do you guys think?
Its difficult to tell if someone is gay, bi or straight. The only way you can truely know is if he tells you. About your friend on instagram, it can go either way, he might flirt with her or he might ask her about you. You never know. Best of luck !
yea i know.. Well i don't think he is gonna flirt with her. He has a girlfriend. lol but idk i thought that it was a little random. But lets see what he says the day we hang out… would it be weird to ask why he added her?
