I ought to introduce myself...

hello hi!

sorry to hear about your bf
wish him speedy and good recovery

 

Well, I believe that many people will just decide to leave their loved one and move on the second they decide that it's all too much for them to handle. So what you are doing is definitely something to look up to.

 

your story is very sad, i couldnt imagine how awful it would be if anything happened to my wife! you did right sticking by him,as many others would run.Best wishes to you, and high five to your supportive parents

 

Of course you have to talk about him, his life is what you need to talk about, you are literally living to tell his story, this is a safe place to do so, don't stop!

 

Welcome to EC!!!

 

I'm sorry to hear and hope that he makes a quick and safe recovery. From what I've read I can tell you too are soul mates and love is the most powerful thing in the world, I hope that love helps him heal and I'm sure it is right now. I wish you the best.

 

I hope your boyfriend recovers well. I have experience with a family member who had a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for a little over a week, and then in a partially awake state that wasn't technically a coma (but looked very similar) for another two weeks. Early 20's is still young and the brain can do more healing than I'd been aware of.

My family member was not able to speak, or walk (back injury too) upon waking but over time and with therapy has made an amazing recovery. Now ten years later no one who didn't know my family member before the accident is aware of any impairment or personality change. There is a little impairment still, mostly loss of vocabulary and a slower wit. There is also a tiny amount of personality change, but the base personality is the same so a little shift on some things one way or the other hasn't been upsetting or alarming. There was also some memory loss, which has improved but the time period near the brain injury is still gone.

I don't know your boyfriend's situation, and I don't want to override anything doctors have told you since they know his particular case. I just wanted to let you know that I know that all the waiting, the "squeeze my hand," the waking coma, and the therapies, and the diapers (yes diapers) are hard. They're really hard, and it's easy to get discourage and thing that this is as good as it will get. The young brain is an amazing thing, and it WILL fight to recover. It got better for my family. I wish that for you too. (*hug*)

 

By the time my family member was doing those things they weren't officially calling it a coma anymore. Though I certainly wouldn't have considered the person awake or alert. It's good that he keeps progressing. That's really good!

The walking and talking came back with therapy at least in my family member's case. The memory loss surrounding the brain injury thankfully took care of being embarrassed of having to be cleaned up by other people. No remaining memory of that, and we've never thought it was an important detail to fill in once the rest of the memories came back.

There was an aggressive phase, and I don't think that is abnormal. If your boyfriend starts into an aggressive phase, don't panic. Wait it out, and be patient, and of course keep yourself safe if he is large and strong. He won't know what he's doing. My family member slowly progressed out of the aggressiveness as the brain continued to heal. It was probably six to eight weeks that included some form of aggressive outburst, and that happened after some walking returned and some speech.

I wish we were full members so I could PM you. I know how hard this is, having also gone through it with someone I love. Just take it one day at a time. (*hug*)


Edited to add: Also, do you know if they're sedating him so that other injuries can heal without him moving around? My family member was purposefully sedated once the beginning of the eyes opening, hand squeezing and waking up thing because of other injuries that could have been made worse by moving too much, or pulling out tubes and monitor wires. Just something you might want to ask the doctor if you're trying to figure out what is going on.

 

Staying in the here and now helps so much. It's how I got though it. I never looked at the big picture. I only looked one step ahead. The big picture had too many "what if's" and too many unknowns.

It's super sweet that you're keeping all the messages for him to read later.

I don't know if he has a private room, but when my family member was in the ICU we brought in a CD player and would play instrumental soothing music while we were there. I don't know if it helped, but it felt like it did. The nurses would play it while we weren't there too.


If you ever want to talk about anything or vent or just have someone to relate to you're more than welcome to post on my wall. I'm on here almost every day, and I promise to get back to you. Stay strong. Your boyfriend is astoundingly lucky to have someone like you.

 

Oh my god, I'm soo sorry - what happened to your boyfriend is incredibly sad :icon_sad:

And it's incredibly sweet and strong and brave of you to care for him! You might think that in times of crisis it goes without saying to care for a loved one but thats definitely not the case, believe me...

You can talk anytime you want, feel free to message me (you have to apply for full membership first to use pms, but you can do that in 2 weeks or so) or write on my wall (*hug*)

Your boyfriend is very fortunate to have you and I think the idea of keeping a journal for him is great!

I hope your boyfriend will recover soon! And stay strong - you're doing an amazing job!

Tons of hugs and kisses for you and the boyfriend!

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

 

I am sorry about your boyfriend you have great parents that take you back and forth to see him my prayers are with you all

 

Hello and welcome to EC!