After coming out to my parents... I don't actually know if I should've done it or not. After coming out to few of my friends who accepted me as I am and even accepted my girlfriend (fyi we are also in a long distance relationship)... I though that it would really be best to let my parents know as I've been very awkward to them already... However, my parents didn't handle it well... at all. To the point that my mom even wanted to kill my girlfriend. They kept on saying that I am just blinded right now and that I shouldn't tell anyone about it. Essentially, they, especially my mom is so angry and it hurts because she and my girlfriend are already very close and now she's threatening my girlfriend. I even told my mom that I am not forcing her on anything... I just wanted them to know the truth because they had the right to know the truth but all they said was that this kind of relationship will never work. The only way for these kinds of relationships to work, according to them, is when another person is miserable and the other is successful. That is the only way that they can cling on to each other. They even began saying bad things about my girlfriend which hurts me so much because she need not be blamed... I have been a lesbian even before I met this girl and I just fell so deeply in love with her. I just don't know what to say anymore. :icon_cry:
Hi ACO, Hang in there. Your parents are in a severe state of denial. They also appear to know little about sexuality, specifically homosexual relationships. The hostility to your girlfriend is pretty sad and a sign of gross immaturity on their part. They will need time to adjust and you can help them by being ready to educate them when questions arise. Make yourself knowledgeable and find some examples of lesbian couples that they might be able to relate to. At the moment, you don't have to say anything. They'll come to you when they're ready to talk on a mature and realistic level. Don't let them rant and rave you into depression. They obviously care about you so give them a chance to come around. Be as nice as you can and try to stay calm. You've taken a gigantic step. You should be proud of yourself and show it. The tears on the smilie made me cry. You have lots of people right here pulling for you. Let us know how it goes.(*hug*)
Thank you so much! My dad just talked to me about my sexuality 10 minutes ago and he just called me a freak of nature.:icon_frow Anything that I say, no matter how I put it, does not really get through. All he thinks of is if I stay like this... I would have a miserable life ahead of me. I won't leave my girlfriend because of this. This is definitely not a reason. Probably this is also a challenge for us to have a stronger relationship. How I wish that they'd just consider what I've been talking about. I am still the same person. It's just that they already know the truth. It's such a taboo in our family. I remember when I was just abt 10years old, my mom left me alone in our house because I didn't want to wear the dress she wanted me to wear. It even came to a point that she kept all my clothes and replaced it with the ones she liked. We don't have problems like that anymore since I dress and look like the girl she wants me to be. The way I look is not a problem, but the way I feel and my personhood is one which they can't seem to view as acceptable. My mom even told me that she's never going to accept it until the day she dies. :icon_cry: I'll keep you guys posted on the progress (if any) of what's happening in my life after coming out. thanks so much again!
I'm sorry all you can do is wait for them to come around. I hope everything ends up ok. remember you can't be someone your not to please someone else you got to be you and if people don't like that then they are the ones who are losing something great... you. I know this isn't the same as parents but I had a best friend tell me that she would never accept me and then gradually she began to accept me more and more until she accepted me completely and this took a long time but it still happened good luck and hang in there we're here for you
Have you asked your parents why they believe what they do? If not, I suggest doing so to get them thinking. If you have, what are their reasons? Stand your ground. Good luck.
Congratulations on working up the nerve to tell your parents. A lot of people in your situation might have left their parents in the dark for years, or even for the rest of their lives. Now that they know, they can't reject you forever, eventually they will come around...it sounds like a lot of their reaction might have come from just pure shock and lack of rational thought. They'll come around, even though it might take a little while. Be patient and hang in there. We're all rooting for you (*hug*).
Thank you guys! Yeah... It's really hard coming out to one's parents. Especially the decision- making stage... I kept on thinking of the "what ifs" and it almost made me crazy because I really didn't know what to exactly expect... I'm so thankful to our Lord for making me calm these past few days despite the troubles that I am experiencing right now. It's so hard when both of my parents just connive on me and won't even consider what I am saying. My dad believes that I am a "freak of nature"... while my mom sees homosexuality as the work of "demons"... They kept on citing examples of homosexuals that they know and even criticize those people giving light to homosexuality as people who are not in the right state of mind. Anything that I say doesn't matter to them anymore because they don't even listen. I know that there are a lot of helpful resources out there for them to be educated in this matter but they wouldn't know that because they would refuse to even consider the other side. My friend's mom even tried talking to them but it was no use because nothing stuck to them... Now I think my parents don't even want to talk to my friend's mom. I really love my parents. I am still their daughter... I don't even avoid them. I still try to talk to them about usual things since they don't want me talking about this matter anymore. I just hope that with God's grace... They could eventually come into terms with this matter.
Wow you're are very brave don't let them get you down. Be proud because they need to acfcept you don't except the negativity
