Hi. I'm Ryuuzaki and new here in EmptyClosets. I came here because I am still quite confused with my orientation and maybe someone here can help me. I identify to myself as gay but it's not full homosexual. I've written things that makes me think I'm gay and those that say that I'm not full gay. Gay side - I am attracted to guys. Right now it's only guys I think about. Girls just random and not in the same way. - This also bothers me a bit. When I was still straight, if I had wet dreams, it's usually another male, not a girl in it. About a proportion of 9 out of 10 occassions. So that must mean something because it's what I subconsciously want. - And there's also the fact that I have always prefered seeing a p*nis. Girl parts yeah I want to see also, but I realize it was only curiosity because I don't have it. Don't get me wrong. I DO NOT want to have that. It's just I'm curious as to how it works. Still, I do not find it attractive as to how that looks. Does it really make a person gay if he wants to look at p*nises and not v*ginas? Is that within the sexual orientation? - Before I acknowledged that I could also be attracted to guys, whenever I see a good looking guy I only feel admiration or a little envy. But now I can see more than that. I actually check them out now. - Even if I did have crushes on girls before, I can't really say I found boobs or their curvy figures attractive. I know they're beautiful with that because it's what people say but attraction is not the same as finding something beautiful. It was mostly based on their looks, the face. And I don't like seeing them in clothing of short skirts and revealing clothes. Straight side - First, I used to be straight. Because that was what was taught to me. That I should like girls so I never thought about guys in a romantic way before. It was like I've put up a barrier where it prevents me from seeings guys in a different way. But ever since I've broken it I'm not straight anymore. And since I used too have crushes on them, there will be some who can actually make me glance twice. - I can get hard if I think or see a naked girl. But not that I would intentionally look at one. And this is what really confuses me. I don't want to be doing anything sexual with a girl, yet I can still get hard. The reason I do not want to be bisexual is because of the 'wondering'. If I for example dated a girl, I most likely won't stop wondering what it would be if it were a guy. And because of that, I would want to break up or cheat just to satisfy my curiosity. So now that I'm more homosexual, I just want my straight feelings to go away. I don't want to like both and be indecisive and confused. You must think I'm a weird case. Most people who find themselves getting gay feelings panic and would do anything to stay or be straight. But for me I want to be gay. And I never felt fear when I started to have homosexual feelings. I just accepted it gladly and I do not hate myself for it. If you have any advice, feel free to post. Thank you.
I am surprised your more comfortable with being gay then bi. However, either way you should not ignore your true sexuality. 10 years ago I was gay, 5 years ago I turned straight. Now I identify as bisexual. I am actually more comfortable with seeing vaginas but I am okay with seeing penis as long as it is on a guy.
First, and I hope I don't sound nitpicky: you didn't used to be straight, and you didn't become gay. Whatever your sexual orientation is, it has always been that way - you were born with it. It took you awhile to figure out, but it was always there and it has not changed. Just wanted to point out that, because if you use that kind of wording with non-LGBT folks, they will take it as evidence that we are not born that way - which is bad for us! To answer your actual question, you describe me nearly to a T, except reversed. I wouldn't mind it if I were bisexual though, although I do dislike the confusion because right now I am in a constant battle over whether I'm gay or bisexual and it is no fun. I made a thread on my situation (just posted it) - I'm sorry I can't be of much help, but maybe you'll find my post helpful.
I would say to date both and see what truly happens with your feelings. As mentioned, you can only be what you are. You may be bi with stronger feelings towards men; there is nothing wrong with that. I fit that category.
You can only be who you are, but I definitely get the struggle. Bi people get flak from both sides and it's really no fun. But it's going to be okay and you'll figure it out.
Hello and welcome to EC! Our situations are uncannily similar. Guys are all I think about sexually, yet I still get erections from looking at pictures of "hot girls". Mentally I am only attracted to men, but my body shows I'm attracted to women. It's pretty confusing. Being bisexual does not appeal to me either, and I think it's for the same reason as you. The thought of eing sexual or romantic with a woman just doesn't feel right to me. I never had any panic or shame about being gay either. I just accepted it rather quickly. I do have a lot of fears that I'm really straight though and somehow I'm just pretending... I can't offer much advice, I apologize. I'm in the same predicament. Good luck though. If you need to talk, feel free to message me.
It sounds like you are pretty gay... Sexuality is a combination of physical and emotional feelings. I believe that even if you can get turned on by a beautiful girl, because you said you don't really like the idea of dating one (the emotional/feeling side), you are gay. Just a note on labels that you have probably heard before, but they really don't matter that much, just do what you feel like. I know if is harder for bisexuals because if you doing something with one gender then the other kind of shuns you but really if you just want to date guys, go date guys! Overall, biguy8 said it really well, just go explore both sides of your sexuality and you might find your answer.
Feel free to talk to me too (&&&) It's quite the same with me, except I'm in love with a guy (and have been for the past year and a bit) and he's everything to me (*hug*) It's crazy, isn't it!
Like that is a thing, an absolute...? It is a ridiculous thing for people to do this to themselves. Labels, pigeon holes, social buckets, compliance, conformity, abandonment of individuality. .. Dude... you are unique. Anybody with a heart and good mind loves the unique person you are. Peace Bro.
