Warning: Long and sexual explicit post (18+) Im a 40+ Male, I am struggeling to find out what my sexuality is, i will try to explain my thoughts in this post. My english writing isn't the best, so bear over with me. I have always been turned on by women, my first "unormal" sexual experience was watching some anal porn, when i was a teen, and i got very turned on by it. So i decided to try it on myself, i was using various vegetables up my butt, and i loved it, but i always got that bad felling of being dirty and feeling so wrong afterwards. When i got older i bought some real toys, and experimented some more, with anal masturbating. I started to think, mayby i was gay og bi? I was still into women, and had a girlfriend at the time. But the anal thing really got me confused, i tried watching gay porn, but that didn't do anything for me. Now i know a lot of straight men like to have something up their butt, but i somehow knew this was different. I also have at thing for womens lingerie and stocking, and was always watching anal porn, with women i lingerie, when i was playing with the dildoes. So i thought, i could be kind of kinky if was was wearing lingerie, and fantasizing about being the girl, while getting anal. Suddenly all the pieces starting to come together, Also started watching porn with shemales, a turned on by that and i started thinking maybe i was trans. But the wasn't quite the thing, because i like being a man, and could never go through a transformation. So here i a 40+, i have a girlfriend (who dosent know anything about this), i have a lot toys and lingerie (i live alone), and whenever i get the chance, i dress up in lingerie, stocking, and a skirt and a top, and play with the toys and i love it, and i don't get that bad feeling of being dirty and wrong, as i did when i was younger. So i quite happy with what i do, and have accepted is, as long is makes me happy, its okay. I mostly watch shemale stuff or straight male-female anal, and i fantasize about me being the girl. But now comes the big question, what do you all thing my sexuality is? I recently started reading about: Autogynephilia, and thinking maybe this could be it, i get turned on by prentending to be a female, but could never go through a transformation. Or am i just a straight man, with a weird fetish , i dont know. Any comment, or thoughts is much appreciated.
well i personally think you’re straight, if you don’t have fantasies about men then you’re straight. it also sounds like you’re just into being dominated by a woman and anal play. nothing wrong with that, you’re still straight
Your sexuality isn't really about sexual behavior. It's about your attractions. You don't indicate that you are in any way attracted to men. Do you fantasize about men? Do you see men when you are about and think about them, decide if they are attractive to you? Do you masturbate (without porn) to thoughts of men? The fact that you enjoy lingerie and anal masturbation isn't by itself indicative of your sexuality. Straight men can like these things too. What you are describing sounds more like a fetish (and not weird or a particularly unusual one either) to me.
as others have said, this area is very stimulating and doesn't have anything to do with sexualty. Sounds like you're not really turned on by guys. When you do it what do you fantasize about? For me imagine making love to a cute guy. I tried to imagine for example a beautiul woman with a dildo and it did nothing for me. Try taking a pornography break. Pornography can escalate and many people are turned on by watching things they can't even participate in - for example a lot of straight guys like lesbian porn. Exactly. and as @I'm gay says it sounds like its just a fetish.
Thank you so much for you'r comment and thoughts. I never fatasize about men, and don't find men attractive, but... when i dress up an masturbate and fatasize about being a girl, i do fatasize about being taken by a real man, insted of the toys. I have never tried it though, but defently something that gets me thinking/wonderign whats that about. When i watch a "normal" guy and a woman with at strap-on i dosen't turn me on, but if its a girl/shemale and a guy i turns me on. And thats very confusing, i get turned on by me thinking im the guy, doing the girl. And also me thinking im a girl, who gets taken by the man. Don't know if thats makes any sence But yes i definitely watch to much porn
