I am still questioning my sexuality, as a guy who likes both sexes. I definitely admire women's bodies, but I don't like their parts ( except for boobs). I have not had any experience with either gender, but have been fantasizing about a man. I am not sure how to cope with my feelings! I want to like women, but I don't feel any attraction to them. I want to have sex with a man, but am self conscious about myself. The thing is... I am not sure if this is a phase, or bisexuality/gayness. I am at level one on the coming out process -- I just wish that these feelings would be gay or straight, but I find myself wanting to be in a relationship with a man. Currently, I think that I am falling in love for someone who is gay, but we live in different locations. Help!
I sense some denial when you say you like both sexes. You have a desire to "want to like" women. It doesn't seem like it is there... it seems more like admiration, not genuine attraction. So, I'm not sure why you keep thinking you are bisexual UNLESS you honestly feel deep-down sexual feelings towards girls and a desire to be intimate/sexual with them. If you lack those feelings, then perhaps a "bi" label is inappropriate. It doesn't look like a phase either. I was very similar to you in that I would make up any excuse in order to not accept myself as gay. You seem like you are genuinely gay in your description. There is nothing there that makes me think otherwise. I think you are making yourself more confused by thinking admiration = attraction. It simply does not. I am lost why you feel confused. It is clear you are attracted to guys, not girls. So what's the confusion?
Because being gay is not a choice, no matter how much you are "raised to be straight", your sexuality is fixed very early in life, likely before birth. NOTHING you do will change your sexuality.
Sexual orientation is too deep-rooted for such outside influences to directly influence or alter it. At best, you can deceive yourself and pretend to be straight. The research on sexual orientation is very mixed. You may experience a slight shift in orientation over time; however, we should view ourselves based on our feelings in the past and present. We don't know the future. It's great to be open-minded, but also understand the reality and that there are limitations.
