How old is too old?

As long as you remain safe, there's no harm in meeting him, chatting about life and seeing where it goes.

 

You haven't Skyped yet? That's a huge red flag to me. Sorry to rain on your parade! My friend, if you haven't even seen him in video then something is wrong.

 

I agree with photoguy...

 

It looks like you are talking yourself into this regardless of warning signs.

With that in mind alert family and friends of what you are doing and give them every bit of information you have on this guy.

That way authorities will have something to follow up on if this guy is bad news.

Personally speaking... Considering this idea means you should rethink how you approach your personal safety.

 

Hi,

You know what is really weird?

I have no relationship with you beyond this post and I am more concerned about your personal safety (along with others too) than you appear to be, or the international Internet sex stalker who claims to love you.

EC really is "family".

You must review the circumstantial evidence beyond simple age difference.

Be really careful brother.

Stuck

 

If he won't skype with you then he's bad news.

 

If you want to... go with it. I mean, the age difference between my parents is 14 years and they turned out (pretty) fine... My mom might have been far too young when she got pregnant with my sister but since that probably won't happen in your relationship... You should give it a try if you really like him

(PS: if you've never seen him on video before ask him whether he would be comfortable with skyping with you. If he says he's okay with it he might be worth it but if he doesn't want to show his face to you... just don't put yourself in any danger, okay?)

 

I understand how you feel (*hug*)

Look, these guys aren`t saying that there`s no way this can work out. Just that in a case like this, it is REALLY important to follow certain safety rules. Maybe he is a great guy, but there is no guarantee, and it is a risk to meet him, even if it could turn out wonderfully.

First and foremost, meet him at a public place.

Second, and this might sound incredibly paranoid, but it is actually quite basic when you meet a stranger who you have never even seen before, who is someone who don`t live near you, and don`t have a network where locals might know him (you have no guarantee for this), when you do meet, ask to see his drivers licence or ID. Then text the name, and location to a friend. This is an important rule when girl meets older man, but equally important when young man meets older guy, because you never know who this person really might be, and it is always better to be safe than sorry. If you had met the guy under other circumstances, it might not have been so important, but if this guy comes from another country, if something should happen, it can be impossible for the authorities to find the guy. So, information about him resting with someone else could turn out to be essential. If he is understanding and really cares about you, he should appreciate the wisdom in being careful, and he`ll show it to you to make you feel safer. If you ask with a wink and a smile, and explain that if you don`t, your friends will kill you for being reckless, he might find it charming and cute.

Third, don`t go home to him, don`t go to his hotel-room. After you have met a few times, and you are feeling more comfortable with him face to face, okay, then you do what you want to do, but never go home to a stranger the first time you meet him, at least not unless you have picture and info sent to someone else and he knows it. Most violent predators will not assault someone who they know have taken a picture of his face and sent it to someone. A way you can do this is for example by asking if you can take a picture of the two of you together :icon_wink You don`t have to tell him you are sending the picture, but just taking it will have the wanted effect if he`s not who he says he is. If he refuses that, then warning bells should start ringing. If he refuses both letting you see ID and taking a picture, then you should be out of there within a minute. Trustworthy people do not refuse to allow others to feel safe by ensuring themselves of the person they meet`s identity.

And if it seems to you that we are being very negative towards this, it is simply because people always should assume that the worst is actually possible when it comes to hooking up with someone they met online, because it is. We never have a guarantee, and most of us giving these advice try to live by them ourselves. We are not trying to damper your dating spirit or anything (*hug*) We just care about you! A lot of the times when people have been assaulted or other things, it could have been avoided with the right precautions (*hug*)

It does not mean this is guaranteed to end up a disaster, you could find he`s really a nice guy, and the two of you could hit it off wonderfully But being careful never destroyed the possibilities for a relationship. In fact, if he is a great guy, it might impress him :icon_wink

Good luck!

 

Your comment about "having a chance at a relationship" makes me want to cry because I have been there. I have had these moments where a "real" guy finally showed some interest in me. I enjoyed it!

Then, I found things out. One of the guys I had an online relationship with never actually skyped with me. I was 16. To this day, I regret not asking for that. I was young and immature. It doesn't prove anything, but it goes down a list of "red flags." Like, "will he skype?" If not, then he obviously doesn't want you to see him. There's no room for excuses that drag on - who doesn't have access to a webcam? Most phones have them, and nearly all laptops do. Even phones have cameras! Even if you don't have a webcam, you could probably find one.
You will find your way. Just don't put yourself in harms way, ok?

 

Well, you haven't met this guy in person, and there is a lot to be said for that. I have "dated" two guys over the internet and met one after speaking about 5 months. What I learned is that there is a lot you don't know about a person when you meet them over the internet. Neither of the guys I dated tried to hide anything from me, but there was still a lot that was not accurately conveyed. Some of these things were: sense of style/care in the way you present yourself to the world, how much they smoke, their weight, and expectations about social interaction. (One guy actually expected me to pay for him on our first meeting!)

I think you are right not to jump into saying you love someone. Sounds like this guy has initiated everything so far, which probably makes you feel inclined to go with the flow. But putting on the brakes a bit and taking it as it comes are both good pieces of advice I think. You won't truly know how you feel about someone until you meet them in person and spend siginficant time together!

The advantage of where you are at right now though is that you have the oppportunity to get to know him on a deeper level without the physical aspect being in the way. Take it as it comes and ask a lot of questions. I dated someone 14 years older that me and it can be a beautiful thing. You just don't know until you feel the real life chemistry. Enjoy the ride!

 

He sounds like he could be a nice guy, however it seems hasty for him to declare love for you. The issue is that he doesn't really know you, so how could he love you? That's not to say that he couldn't love you, but that it's too early for him to know that.

Now, he could be a nice guy, but I'd be careful to get to know him in person for a while before committing yourself. I'd be careful to make sure that he's not just physically attracted to you.

 

This is where he has you suckered in. Everything else that you "feel" you know about this guy, is your hopes that you will find a relationship. Someone going on vacation and being your temporary boyfriend, is slang for "I want to get in you Filipino pants, then jet". Don't fall for something that's being played out in your imagination!

---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2013 at 06:25 PM ----------

He's playing games with your emotions. PLease!! Stop talking to him!

---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2013 at 06:25 PM ----------

You have every right to not trust him. His response to you questioning his motives is getting angry... RED FLAG

---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2013 at 06:29 PM ----------

UGGGGHH... this guy is emotionally abusive. I Know you really want a relationship, but don't let it cloud your judgement, which is spot on. You don't have any reason to trust this guy, and this guy has no right to get angry. He's toying with your emotions. What is it about THIS guy that you like so much? Is it that he's from England? Or, is it just because he's somebody? Don't you deserve more than just ANYBODY? Please notice how he's the immature one, please!