How did you come out? Did you plan or blurt?

Plan, definitely.

It's a three step process for me: firstly pre-meeting flag up that I have something 'big' to tell the person I'm intending to come out to. Two: the reveal. Three: the next time I meet them I'm presenting as me.

The main reason for doing this is to avert adverse reactions of shock. Coming out, as trans especially, is a hefty undertaking and if you have already hinted that something on this scale is coming, it means it's less of a surprise and, for you, a more comfortable landing.

Hope this helps!

Beth

 

You have to do what is best for your. For me almost everything was unplanned. I only told four people face to face; my mom and dad, my wife, and my son and that is just because I saw an opening. Everyone else was by text or FB messenger. I haven't told everyone I know and don't feel the need to do so.

 

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to come out; it's an incredibly personal experience, as individual as the people doing it. And since it sounds like your family would be accepting, I think any time you're ready to do so is the right time--whether that be in a week or a month, or when you've officially found someone to date.

In my case, I semi planned it. I was feeling very anxious and unhappy, keeping it hidden, so I wound up making an announcement post over social media. The first time I did this was on two platforms where none of my mutuals or followers know me irl, so in a way, it was easier (despite being a bigger audience). A year later, I did it on a more personal platform--not because I wanted to make a big deal of it, but because I wanted to get it over with and not have to tell each and every person in my immediate circle individually.

So how you come out is really up to you: do you want to do it on an individual basis, or to a small group at a time? Or perhaps you want to sit everyone down and tell them all at once? Perhaps you could even do it as an email or a letter. There are tons of different ways to approach it; so long as it feels right to you (even if you're still nervous), that's all that matters.

And if you need to take some time to think it over, of course do so! You're not lying to anyone by not telling them. We all have secrets, and who we share them with and when is up to us and no one else.

I hope, when you do, it goes well.

 

I came out unintentionally at a party. I was covertly seeing a guy and we went to a pool party given by some friends separately. A woman I had engaged in conversation suggested that we meet for a drink sometime and I without thinking said I don’t think my boyfriend would like that. I realized in that instant I had come out as it caught everyone’s attention. I am sure some suspected it but I removed all doubt. Shortly afterwards I came out to my immediate family.

 

I have come out a few times as different things. Sometimes it was planned and sometimes it was not. I came out as transgender to my mom because she borrowed my computer and I had left my email logged in. She went to sign into hers and saw the message I sent to my professors about my chosen name and pronouns. So that was a bit awkward. Sometimes the moment pops up and you can take it. Other times you have to plan a time. I think it just depends on the person and the situation really.

 

Cute story. I love that!

 

Hi,

I think that coming out is a highly personal experience for everyone. And there are usually several coming-outs, the one with your parents, your friends, etc...
In my experience I didn't come out to my parents intentionally: they found out and forced me to come out. As you may imagine, it didn't go well.
Regarding my intentional coming-outs, they went way better, because that was my choice and I was ready to come out to these people at these times.
Now, when I meet someone new, it doesn't feel like coming out anymore. The topic of partners and relationships emerges and I just talk about mine naturally. If I am feeling safe.

In my opinion, there are several variables to be taken into account for a coming-out: the timing, the person, and how you feel about yourself and about them. Never forget that coming out belongs to you. If you're not ready to come out, listen to your guts. Take your time, take the time to accept yourself.

Hope the best for you!

 

I don't have such experience, but my best friend was hysterical and told a big group of friends while he was sobbing bitterly. His hysteria helped him collect his thoughts.

 

For me it went like this I made a comment how I thought my guy best friend was cute and my wife flat out asked me If I was Bisexual ands I said yes. ( she knew I was either Bi or gay )

 

I first came out to very close friends via text. As for family, I tried to drop hints here and there which I thought would get the message across gracefully. Sadly my plan went down the drain. At 16 my sister found my diary where I’d written about my female crush, and thought it would be fun to bring it up in front of everyone… so I kind of had to admit that I liked girls. It was very sloppily worded though because I was so nervous. They were okay with it but at the same time doubtful for a while. Heck, my mum was still somehow partly convinced it was a phase up until a year ago (she filled me in as “heterosexual” on a census without telling me). I had to become a lot more confidant with correcting her so that it really got hammered in lol. And I hope it has.

So for me it didn’t feel like I had a straight forward “coming out”. It’s true there’s no real correct way to do it though! I can only say it’s better when you have full control over it.

p.s. I hope things went well for you!!

 

My parents caught me sneaking out to meet up with my first boyfriend. I just came out to them on the spot. Luckily they accepted me, although they're pretty open-minded people so I didn't really think they wouldn't. I felt more disappointed that my secret thing had been discovered than I was about being nudged out of the closet like that.

Despite that though, if they hadn't caught me I wouldn't have come out to them for a while. Probably not healthy but I was pretty secretive generally in my late teens and early 20s.

But yeah I guess that's me. I really hope things went well for you too, deciding whether to come out or not and how to do it is very tough. So it's a big step for you to consider this, however things go or whatever you decided to do.