How can you say HOCD doesn't exists?

OP go and see a doc and see what/if you get diagnosed. Freaking out over OCD when youve not yet been diagnosed with it isnt going to do you any good. There might be something else wrong or nothing wrong at all, either way it'll help you calm down a little bit.

 

I could highlight so many things in this post that I would like to say something about, and that I could successfully argue, but I'm not going to do it because it's just pointless and quite frankly I don't think you're worth it.

I would like to say this, though: It's one thing that you have a certain idea about your own problems, whether true or not, but now you're trying to put it on other people as well. I've gone through so much the last couple of months, it's been the worst months of my life, and then someone who doesn't know jack shit about me, comes and tells me that all this effort I put into understanding and accepting myself, the struggling, the hurt, the fear.. it was all a complete waste of time, because I am sick. And you seem to know exactly what sickness that is. All based on a few paragraphs I wrote online.
You don't know anything about me, or what goes on in my head. Finally, for the first time in my entire life, I am truly happy. And you tell me it's fake. That is sick to me.

 

I dont get it, is CLTLuis in the closet or not?

seems like a troll to me

 

^ ✔✔✔✔
Thank you, sanguine.

King x

 

Oh honey There's nothing wrong with loving another human being. If you are having feelings for someone or a specific gender then that's something you should be proud of. That's something that connects you to another person, it's not something that should be feared or avoided.

If you truly believe in this HOCD disorder then why are so many gay, lesbian, and bisexual couples happy together? Do you really believe they have some mental illness?

If a gay person is having 'straight' thoughts then that could easily mean they're bisexual. The fears of being gay or straight are mostly to do with social pressure. If you're gay you might not fit in with your straight peers, and if your straight you might not fit in with your gay peers. That's the fear, it's not some OCD mental disorder it's just fear of ridicule.

So you're afraid of being gay, it's not a big deal because a lot of people are. Just look at how it's treated in schools and in society. Some people are thrown out of there homes for being lgbt. There's plenty of reason to be afraid but coming out is about breaking down those walls of fear and accepting yourself for who you are.

You can't just coax through life hating part of you, what kind of life is that?

 

The key to beating OCD/HOCD is to stop living in fear and just accept it. Exposure therapy will help a lot from a psycologist that practices CBT. You need to get to a point of not caring, be like so what if I'm gay, I can still be happy. Nothing can turn you gay is you are not. OCD is about obsessing and anxiety. Does not actually mean you are not gay (yes that's a spike, but spiking is good, teach your mind this is not a threat). Good luck.

 

I could also say that you have the compulsion to be a sarcastic bastard, but that wouldn't be accurate either. What is accurate, however, is that we're disagreeing with you (mostly politely and with factual evidence), and you're now becoming unnerved, which translates into defensiveness.

I'm going to point this out once, but by your definition of OCD, you could define everything everyone does nearly every day as a form of OCD. That doesn't make it all OCD. If you choose to believe your desires are OCD, then so be it, but you're also probably going to live a really miserable life of denial.

No, you need to find someone who will properly diagnose you with OCD before anything else. Finding a professional and telling them you have HOCD is laced heavily with confirmation bias; of course they'll agree with you to get your money, and in the long run you'll end up suffering. Self-diagnosis, as I've said, is wrong in every sense of the word.

Disgusting is easily in the eye of the beholder, first off. Secondly, sex drive and sexual desires peak during puberty, which is about when you say your "OCD" started showing signs. Scapegoating your feelings onto your father is inappropriate, nor am I sure he likes very much that you're using him as an excuse.

I said that being gay isn't a disease, and that it's probably much simpler to accept that you're gay rather than convincing yourself you have a mental disorder.

I find this severely ironic considering you're refusing the possibility of being gay yourself.

In the context of this forum, "not being gay" is the same as saying "being straight". And straight guys aren't sexually interested in guys. I think everyone here who identifies as gay has considered that idea. In fact, most of us have lived as straight for the early years of our lives (even later for some people).

I like how you can judge that based off of one paragraph of information.

So, not only are you avoiding the real root of your problems (being gay), you're also avoiding the fake root of your problems (having this "OCD"). There is so much wrong with that I can't even begin to explain it. How on earth can you believe you truly aren't in denial?

P.S. You never replied to me. I'm hurt by that.

This is what I thought at first too, and am being more and more convinced of it... but hell, I love a good argument ("debate"), and it's good practice for me to apply my psych knowledge, so I'm not complaining.

 

Best of luck.

Lex

 

Please someone end this thread. I don't get aggressive very easily, but oh my God this thread just knows how to do it in a single paragraph

Enough is enough, I really think this thread does not belong on EC. EC is supposed to make people feel good and help them, not get them irritated and more confused..

And meanwhile we didn't get any step further: OP is still convinced his views are right, we're still convinced ours are right. All that's changed is that the posts have started to look more and more like personal attacks. This discussion is gonna lead nowhere.

 

Thanks, it is appreciated.

I don't hope you feel unwelcome at EC, though.. because I think it can be really helpful for you, even though you may not think so yet, yourself So, yeah, stick around!

 

Urgh i keep feeling the urge to wander in here and tell people to calm down, but then i actually read the OP posts and bleh, stop trying to tell people what they are and are not! Its so arrogant. Also quit trying to enrage people and trying to turn the attention away from your issues, which isnt the OCD but having homosexual thoughts. Go and sit and have a damn long think, also go and see a doctor and dont tell them what you think youve got, tell them your symptoms. Bleh, just bleh.

 

You're providing evidence that OCD exists, which everyone knew. You haven't provided any credible evidence that HOCD exists or is recognized by major psychological/medical institutions.

What story have you given us? All you've said was that you lost your father, saw some man who reminded you of your father, and then all of a sudden between those two events got same-sex thoughts (but have concluded, somehow, that you have HOCD).

I could pull up articles on being gay and why homosexuality is actually an evolutionary mechanism and a whole bunch of other stuff, but it wouldn't matter to you because it wouldn't relate exactly to your story. I'm not going to try and prove something to you that you won't even bother listening to.

You also keep forgetting that everyone's story is different. If you're expecting to show up here and find someone who has exactly the same story as you, it probably won't happen. It's theorized that being gay or bi is something you are born with (though do not necessarily acknowledge until later in life). In this sense, the backstory doesn't matter; you either are or aren't gay. And I think you are, but you think you aren't.

If you're going to quote something, quote the whole section: With obsessive-compulsive disorder, you may realize that your obsessions aren't reasonable, and you may try to ignore them or stop them. But that only increases your distress and anxiety. Ultimately, you feel driven to perform compulsive acts in an effort to ease your stressful feelings. So, you're obsessing over same-sex thoughts, okay. Where's the compulsion? Certainly you aren't doing anything about it. You can't have OCD without the compulsion, which you don't seem to have, or I happened to miss reading it. Not to mention, as it says in the bold, trying to ignore your feelings is not the way to go about it.

Obsessing over same-sex thoughts? That's called "being closeted".

Well, that's the bottom line, and only a question you can answer. Do you like men, women, both, or neither sexually (as in I become aroused as I think of this type of person)? And none of this HOCD reasoning, it's a pretty straightforward question. We can apply HOCD afterwards. Take this one step at a time and answer the most obvious question first.

1) I'm not a psych student. I take psych courses because I have an interest in them.

2) By this link, you'll note that pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder, not a form of OCD. Or rather, it's a form of OCD in the same sense that nearly EVERY disorder is a form of OCD. Pedophilia is also illegal pretty much everywhere. To compare pedophilia to homosexuality is very incorrect and also insulting.

3) You still have not proven (with any credible source) that you have a sexually-related form of OCD, so please stop saying that.

Let me put it this way: if you're legitimately concerned about having a mental health condition like OCD then here is not the place to get help. I said it before, I'm not out to "get you" or "win", I'm here to help you figure out what exactly it is you are (which could very well be a guy with HOCD, I just don't know that yet). So combating everything I'm trying to explain to you doesn't help either of us.

1) You could have had strong straight feelings before because we live in a heteronormative society. You could have had those feelings (non-sexual) towards girls because of the feeling that it's "what you're supposed to do when growing up" and the attention that comes from it. Allowing yourself to be intimate (non-sexual) with someone beyond your family is something everyone has to go through at some point.

2) Your sexual reaction to Playboy magazines could be because well, you're a teenager. Teenage boys get aroused at nearly anything and for no explicable reason. They get aroused for the sake of getting aroused. Or, maybe you actually had sexual attraction to those women. Who knows.

3) Your sex drive likely decreased because of all the anxiety you're facing. The process of losing your identity and searching for it again is painstaking, no matter what "identity" you've lost (so it isn't limited just to gay people). Anxiety comes from an astounding number of sources beyond OCD. And on that note, nearly everyone here who has done some identity-searching and come out experienced endless amounts of anxiety over the course of that time.

And just to clarify, when I said in a previous post that sex drive is higher in gay/bi people, that'd be for people who have "come out" and are open about their sexuality. There's no reason for closet-cases to have responded to the studies, being closeted and anxious about it.

Of course it doesn't fit with you. Very few people have a major identity shift and just go "oh, okay" and carry on with their lives like nothing happened.

Please explain to me your idea of "straight life" and "gay life". Because since I've figured out who I am and come out, my life hasn't changed a whole lot. If anything, I've been happier because I haven't been dealing with constant anxiety.

 

^ isn't the purpose of the compulsion to do something that removes the fear from your head? For example, if you're obsessing over germs being everywhere, you wash your hands to make sure you're clean. If you're obsessing over same-sex thoughts, wouldn't you be engaging in opposite-sex activities to prove yourself wrong?

What you're describing by attempting to face your fears somewhat head-on is well... the process of accepting yourself, whether you like it or not.