How can I act more ''straight''?

stop sleeping with men haha

 

It was indeed, the celtic's bench won them the game. I can't stand that team, a bunch of arrogant mouthbreathers...


On topic, my straight best friend goes tanning in a salon, has a collection of shoes, spends $100+ on a t-shirt and has a moisturizing routine that puts most girls I know to shame. So, when they find out I'm the gay one it's always a shock

So go find somebody that you're more straight acting than, and you'll appear more straight... either that or they'll make you look gayer.


Though, honestly what tips off my gaydar are the things that you can't really control. It's a lot more than just a deep voice and stiff posture.

 

funny, i often wish the opposite of what you want.

I often wish i was more camp so i didn't have to come out to every new friend i make, as they never guess i am, unless i tell them.

But ultimately acting something i'm not would be fake, and that probably isn't an attractive quality, so just live with who you are

 

This may be one of the worst ideas I have seen on EC in a long time. If you intentionally deceive people at your new school, you may not have any friends. Intentionally deceiving others is not something that true friends should do. I don’t see where the “big joke” is.

 

Well, if you want to seem straighter, you need to act less gay, obviously, so I would say you need to be a bit angrier all the time, but you can't show it. You've got something to be angry at, but straight men don't have emotions, so you bottle it up. This leads to you needing somewhere to get your frustration out, so you get extreme sports and whatnot. Be excited about stupid things, and not about cute things. ("dude, you wanna go skateboarding down the Devil's Peak?" "Hell Yeah!!!" - not "Awww!!! Loook at the cute puppy!!!!"). As gay men, we tend to be a bit over-emotional, and certainly fickle. Don't let the little things get to you, or anything for that matter. Heart of stone, dude, and nerves of steel.

I'm one of those guys that nobody knows is gay. Let me tell you, it certainly is fun leading people and seeing how long it takes them to figure it out. It's also annoying, and real hard to get a boyfriend, because try as you might you aren't going to turn the straight boys. I didn't have to try for this though, it's just who I am.

I agree with S5M1 on this though. This puts you right on the route to betraying people and being the asshole that nobody wants to be around. When people find out you've been lying to them for your own pleasure, they'll shun you, and the people who you would have originally hung out with will think you're just one of those straight people. If they find out about your lie they won't trust you and let you in the group. You're setting yourself up to have no real friends if you think you can base relationships on lies and jokes.

Remember, people will trust you at first, but if you break that trust it is nearly impossible to regain. It's a mark on your character for as long as they remember you. The advice "be yourself" may seem cliche, but it's given for a reason. Humanity has thousands of years of experience with the matter, and that's what we've come up with.

 

Take this from someone who has tried to act straight.

You can try to act like a straight guy. You can try to walk with a swagger, slouch, make sure your wrists are iron-braced, pretend you love sports and just want to get with chicks, but the chances are, you will fail. When you into a situation where you're having fun, those wrists will slip up and it just won't work.

Say that you police your own actions so well that people believe that you're straight. Firstly, they aren't experiencing who you really are, so you probably won't get all that close. If this whole straight guy act works out though, you won't be friends with your friends - your straight-acting façade will be friends with your friends. Your friends will only like this act you're putting on. When this happens, it can lead you to hate the part of you that you're hiding. And that, my friend, is what we call internalized homophobia.

Lastly, you're selling out to a system of hegemonic masculinity that is the reason for homophobia in the first place. And that is never cool.

 

You could try mimic your straight friends and don't try to hard because people will pick that up and only do it for a while then be your normal self when out. me I can not help acting straight most people were shocked when I sayed I was gay and never act stereotypical because that will not work. Also if you want to act straight you have to look straight otherwise they will not buy it and you will look like a poser. And if somebody hurts you when acting straight instead of crying or breaking down push that away and get medival and show anger and aggression but control it. But don't let it change you i would say only keep it up for a month if that then come out and act you natural self.

 

Pretty much what i was about to say. Trust me the whole trying to act 100% straight thing wont work out well for too long if at all. Just be yourself and try to stop caring about what others see you as.

 

I act pretty damned straight and no one could ever tell, however most people nowadays don't really care when I come out, so this might be all in vain. Also, when you appear to be straight, guys don't approach you, or even when you start flirting with a gay guy they think you're straight, or at least you think you're straight. Just saying.

I'd start with posture. Straight guys kind of try to look big, so put your chest out, shoulders back, back straight, feet no closer together than your shoulders, let your head rest aiming slightly upwards, and your eyes almost high. Now relax into that posture so you're not holding in there like someone who's pretending.

Talking -> the biggest thing I've noticed with people who are obviously gay when they speak, is all the omgs, and dragging out words, and the word "like". (ie: "Oh my gawwwwwd trisha! Like why would he doooo that!?") Gossiping is pretty stereotypically gay to me too. The key here is to be less reactionary. Learn to let your mind rest even when the world is perpetually trying to kindle it. If I hear the crazy thing that trisha was talking about, I listen, and before immediately identifying with her, relating to her, judging him, I analyze the situation. Why WOULD he do that, you know? And then I'll proceed to attempt to solve the problem or explain it in a satifying way rather than just agreeing and victimizing. Sorry if that's offensive, but as I've been coming to terms with my own sexuality, I had to realize what it was that I disliked about the general gay population, and that those traits aren't necessary.

Now you got the walk and the talk...it's up to you whether you want to take part in other manly tasks, like chopping wood, working on the car, playing ball, fishing, etc. Stories of such adventures will surely have people believing you're... straight.

 

I act very straight, I know when I was younger I made a conscious decision to hide any flamboyant tendencies such as the way I walked, the way I spoke, keeping my hands in my pocket so they don't wave about, but no idea how much that worked. To be honest I think hiding so much of myself was a huge part of what made me very unhappy in my teens. I don't mind it now because I act the way I act and I can't change that now.

Like others have said I think this is a bad idea, you may think its funny but the people you're fooling won't. My friends were shocked when they found out I was gay, but they understood why I had to keep it from them. I don't think you're going to make yourself very popular if you fool the new people at your school just for a joke, and that's if you manage to pull it off (it's very difficult to hold this false persona for a long time and I suspect people may suspect the truth.)

While you may think it's fun, I think you'd be better off trying to make sure you make good friends at your new school, and deliberately deceiving them isn't a good idea. Be sincere, be yourself, you could try toning down your feminine behaviour around certain people if you want but I wouldn't lie.

 

Yeah, come to think of it, this thread is not the most beneficial idea you came up with. It's one thing to give people a surprise or shock when you announce you're gay, it's another thing to intentionally deceive them and form a relationship and bond based on something that is the opposite of who you are. It's disingenuous and instead of being "that gay guy", you'll be "that fake asshole".

All of this seems so foreign to me. Why do you want to lie? Lying about yourself sucks, that's why I'm trying to come out in the first place. It makes life easier and cuts out a whole lot of drama. But it sounds like you're trying to create drama in your life. That's prob not a great idea.

 

I agree. If anything, it's surprisingly manipulative. I don't see why or how you enjoy confusing people. Breaking down barriers and stereotypes is all good and well, but to go to such lengths...

 

Are you all saying he can't ACT?!! I would be so offended! Dude, don't listen to this "commonsense" don't betray people BS. Act straight and see what happens! It's your life. I really thought people would be more supportive about this. And besides, if people end up not liking your real mannerisms, they aren't nice people, period. hahahaa....I'm gonna get so much crap for writing this. Oh also, I've done stuff like that with my friends and they are just fine! Just don't drag it on too long because that's when it gets bad. I'M SO SORRY FOR OFFENDING PEOPLE HERE BECAUSE PEOPLE SEEM TO GET SO OFFENDED OVER NOTHING ON THIS SITE. I WANT YOU ALL TO BE HAPPY! LIGHT HEARTED HUMOR IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT. Thank you. I LOVE YOU ALL <3....I'M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL ^____________^ *EXCITED*!!

 

Hey, when "Inhuman" said he'd do this, did anyone else think of the first Zoey 101 episode with Lola when she acted all creepy? haha, I did....:XX I know I watched that, I'm cool.

 

I think he just genuinely wants people to look at him and talk to him before judging him based on his sexual orientation. There's the kind of gay person you can tell is gay with a moment of observation, and there's the kind that you can't. I think he just wants to be be the other now. I don't see a problem, and yeah, do what you want; it is your life.

 

i agree, do what you want, its your life. I just also think that life is too short to waste by pretending to be someone you're not.

 

Yeah um dude....you just have totally completely offended me beyond belief....You want to appear straight so as to make a joke of the whole thing. You don't see the problem with this? What about the people who are struggling so much with coming out in the first place? Do you not realize how much this is offending them? Dude you need a new idea of what a joke is, because you've pissed me off and you only just started on this site. Good job.

And Dewey...I can't even say what I want to say to you.

 

Yeah, so do I.
You say you just want them to look shocked. What kind of way is that to treat someone else?

I don't know, you're the one this about, but I really can't sympathize with this.

 

Just as a side note even the "straightest" gay guy can be seen as gay by the right person. There are people out there who can tell no matter what...it's kinda creepy. That's how my friend is. She hasn't failed yet (she can even tell if someone is bi, scary!).

 

Here's what you should do. Stop looking at men, and act like you really really really want women. lol. Seriously though, you should just try not to do stereotypical gay things. No limp wrists, no lisps, you need to be kinda butch. If you work out a lot and put on a lot of muscle, you'll probably look more straight.