I've been coming out as a gay guy to lot of people in my life they accept me and love me for who I am I have been out for quite a while now and i really do feel comfortable about being gay, but one thing is that my voice hasn't changed to being effeminate I've always known I was gay even subconsciously I've been out of the closet for years now I've been talking to a few guys online and all of them say that I don't have a camp voice at all no one would of known that I was gay, I still like cars and football I just don't understand should I make my self sound more camp but it just doesn't feel right at all no matter who I'm around I've always had a deep masculine voice but I don't understand why nothing has changed maybe because I like the way I am is this normal should force myself change my personality I have not got anything against camp guys at all and don't see why other so called masculine gay men look down at them I don't believe in all this toxic masculinity I believe being masculine involves facing your fears head on and accepting your circumstances and prevailing, I don't believe in being aggressive and violent i am really sorry for the long post but just want clarification of my personality
You should be exactly who you are. You need not change anything about yourself if you are not comfortable doing so. Don’t listen to outsiders listen to your heart.
Contented is right, you honestly don't need to change anything about yourself. To be gay you don't have to look, act or sound a certain way. Being gay is about who you like, not who you are. Just be yourself, there's nothing wrong with the way you are right now at all.
There's nothing wrong with being exactly as you are. It isn't a prerequisite for gay men to adopt camp voices, effeminate interests/personalities, nor to get rid of their natural hobbies, interests and otherwise masculine proclivities. I can't speak for why some gay men go through such a shift (at least, not the ones who aren't doing it to fit the camp stereotype), but it's certainly not unusual for gay men to sound and act indistinguishably from their straight counterparts. The only prerequisite for being gay is exclusive same-sex attraction to other men. Beyond that, there is no right or wrong way--just be you.
Hi just wanted to say thank you to everyone for replying to me, I'm glad I'm just me and I believe everyone whether camp or not, are individuals and deserve respect no matter how they sound or talk or who they like I mean when I was at college and I was going through grief and depression after my gran had passed away, one of my favourite teachers at college and he was so sympathetic about my situation and helped me get through and pass the course, he was also gay he was effeminate and he was such a good teacher and a really nice person and helped me pass the course even though I was at my worst point in life, and now I look back and feel really grateful about life now and wouldn't change a thing about myself or anyone else whether effeminate or masculine I Love people for who they are whether they are masculine or camp there is no right or wrong way to be we are all human after all and I love being a gay guy and thank you to everyone for taking the time to reply it really means a lot to me
Just be you. Period. End of story. The main reason I came out was to just be myself. My unapologetic sci-fi loving, Marvel movie fan, RuPaul's Drag Race watching, unathletic, uncoordinated, sarcastic flippant smartass, introverted, geeky self.
I love this btw, I think you absolutely have the right idea: When I was in secondary school, I adopted a much, much deeper voice because I was horribly closeted and didn't want anyone to think I was gay/weak/etc.. But weirdly enough, it hasn't really gone away. I think as it turned out, my voice was just naturally deeper than what I thought. Now that I'm less anxious these days, I think I speak more softly and gently, but it's still rather deep. On the flip side, I personally know a number of straight people who have almost a "camp" voice as you described it... doesn't make them any less straight though! I will basically echo what everyone else said: There is no right or wrong way to be gay!!!
In my experience, limited as it is as I have only been out just under 4 years, gay men come in all shapes, styles, mannerisms and ages. Some are extremely masculine and some very feminine and most somewhere in between. As so aptly stated there is no one way to be gay. We are all individuals and all different. No need to pigeonhole yourself unless it’s in your comfort zone. One of the great things about being gay is having the fun of beginning exposed to so much divergent and diverse rich gay culture.
