Hello All, Stumbled onto this site as I was searching for answers. I am a 27M and have been questioning my sexuality for some years now. Throughout High School and College I considered myself straight but found myself aroused by men. I have had several girlfriends and one kind tore my heart out when I found out she cheated on me on several occasions - still trying to heal from this and it was almost a decade ago. Mainly being able to trust fully again... Yeah, I'm not the best with emotions because of my upbringing. I should state I was never sexually active with these girls but we would kiss/cuddle. I was even with a girl for almost 2 years but never was able to go through with it. I suspect this may come from some trauma in my past where I was SA'd by 2 different people. 1 was a family member (M) the other was a family friend (F) both were older than me but by a year, maybe 2 max. This is getting kinda dark haha. Anyways I have had 2 boyfriends but they were more like flings because I found myself too scared to continue and I didn't want to hurt them emotionally; as I do struggle with connecting with men emotionally. When and if I do watch porn its usually if not always gay porn and when I'm finished I do feel a sense of shame/disgust but after a little time the urges come back. I have had a sexual experience with another man and the orgasm he gave me was incredible (was through a hookup app). When I think of the gay community I do not feel as if I belong because I don't really fit I guess my vision of what gayness is? Idk if that makes any sense. Anyways to wrap up I am in therapy and my therapist knows most if not all of what I posted here just kinda looking for any feedback.
Kizzy.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBT folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. I see that you have already found the "Sexual Orientation" forum...that's a great start! There are people who post her who have dealt with things that are probably similar to what you are facing. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. .....David
