Found out my brother is gay!

Oh god, I died.
lololol

 

Let's not overwhelm this girl, kiddos. We've definitely answered all her questions thoroughly.


We all support you in your efforts to reach out to your brother! :]

 

I suggest this.

When I was going though the process of coming out to my self, a coworker figured out that something was up. He came to my office a couple of days later and told me about the best man at his son's wedding. That he is gay and is is his best best friend. He told me how he came out that after college and is much happier. He said that all of his kids have gay friends and that he is proud of them for that. Because he taught them not to discriminate and that there is nothing wrong with being gay.

I can't tell you how much that helped me.

 

If he accepts this offer, its almost certain that he is gay haha

Keep in mind, viewing a website doesn't make him gay, he might be completely straight.

 

Hm, well my twin found out via some stuff I left up on the computer (actually, my laptop... he's kinda nosy). He just sat me down and said that he's fine with it.

I don't recommend it, since I was really upset at him (moreso that he went through my computer). We don't really talk about it because I'm not that comfortable around him with the subject. His actual words were something about being okay with it, but it was weird because I'm his twin (don't say it's weird, it hurts). However, if you're close with your brother, he might think you're a savior.

If you just let him know that you think gay people are awesome, you're going to have to take the lead and start conversations on gay topics because he won't if he's shy.

 

hey, welcome to ec!

do NOT try and force you're brother out, he'll come to you when he's ready - there are several 15 year old people here who could help, maybe leave a subtle hint for him to have a look (like leave the page minimized) or *perhaps* tell him you know and he can stick his thing where he wants and you don' care etc. also you've heard of a cool site called 'www.emptyclosets.com' that he should join.

 

keep this page open, but minimised.
try to make a new thread, saying you think he is.
then, try to make it sound like you're ok with it and have accepted it.

seems like a good plan to me :icon_wink

 

i think its great that your supportive of him. my advise is to wait for him to tell u on his own (if he is, of course) but drop hints every now and then that your totally cool with gay ppl. trust me, it will mean alot to him.

 

My sister saw me looking at gay websites when I was 14 or so, I lied and said I was on straight websites when these things accidentally popped up and she never mentioned it again. But she's made it clear that she supports gay people, and while I'm unable to out and out tell her (it feels like the time has passed) we do make subtle references that we both know I'm gay.

Hopefully you'll be able to be a bit more open with your brother, all I know is it at 14 it was hellish thinking for a second that my sister knew my secret and I thorougly needed to deny it. Just be a sister to him, but if you can without drawing attention to it, let him know that you support gay people and if he did want to come out that its safe to talk to you.

 

Okay, I am up for trading my sister (and her homophobic posters) for a much better alternative like you. This just proved that I have been born in the wrong family!

Keeping empty closets window minimized is a good idea. Then your brother will have a reason for a talk, if he feels ready to.

 

Some good advice here and I have to say that I agree that you should not confront him with what you found. It might be that he isnt even gay but just doing a bit of exploring.

If he is gay then it will likely be a huge thing for him to come to terms with himself - and he needs to do that himself first. I'm just doing it now and I am 27.

 

Typically, walking up to someone and saying "Are you gay?" or "I know you're gay so just admit it" is not the best approach and most likely will not result in the truth. Instead, I would wait for him to come to you. Coming out is a weird and scary process that people like to have control over, and it's often not pretty to immediately take that control away from someone despite how supportive you are. In the meantime, you can "come out as an ally". Try mentioning something about gay marriage or prop 8 in the news and let him know you are supportive. This will let him know that he can trust you if and when he wants to tell. Honestly, just keep loving him and things will work out in the end.

It sounds like you're a really great sister <3 keep it up

and welcome to EC!