feeling increasignly angrier of being in the closet

Same, felt like a loser never having a date and hated it being brought up. Great holiday memories haha. Do they do it to pressure us into conforming just like they did? I'm pissed getting stuck in this situation too that I never wanted. Being gay would be fine if it wasn't for all the hate against us and if everyone was honest about their Kinsey number so you'd know who else might be an option. Maybe that would reduce the hate too. I hope the anger can be used for good in some way as I should too.

 

That's a good use for it I think as long as not violent. It also reminded me of something I heard somewhere about being aware of turning the anger inwards on yourself and it becomes self-hate. I had the thought maybe I've been doing that and self destructive it can be. It sure would be nice to have the power/courage to say and do what you want w/o getting angry/upset first, as some people seem to have whatever it takes to be like that. Good luck coming out and all the stuff we have to deal with that most people have no care about.

 

What you're feeling is completely natural (and understandable). I also understand why you're worried about this anger potentially being the means by which you come out--and while there is no right or wrong way to come out, it is better that you do it in a calm manner, with a clear head.

The best advice I can give is this: vent in a safe space (like here), spend as much of that anger as you can. When you've done this, start thinking about what you want: you want to be open and out, you don't want to be afraid of other people's opinions anymore, you want to start living your life in a way that will bring you contentment and peace, etc. Whatever your end goal is, think about it and in turn, think about what means will help you get to it.

You can start small by journaling, or by writing letters that you may or may not give to their intended recipients. You can try rehearsing out loud to yourself, and you can also go over the list of people you want to tell first, and the pros and cons. Think about whether these people have shown support or discomfort regarding same-sex themes, the types of questions they might ask so that you can better prepare yourself for how to respond.

I know it might (and likely will) be a lot of work, but it's worth going over your options as soon as you're ready to, so that you won't feel as overwhelmed if/when it comes to pass.