I'm awfully confused right now with what I should do... I don't know if I should let my problem be heard by others or should I just continue to let it be contained inside me. I've been this way ever since our prom just the night of the 18th. It was going all well when I started feeling bad about myself. It was the end of the program already and everyone's dancing with the disco music. I was alone, sitting on one table. I thought, "This would be the perfect time, Rex. Go on and ask Miggy already to dance with you." I searched and searched for him and kept on seeing him but I didn't stand and continued my plan. I thought that asking him would be such a bad idea, that maybe he'll humiliate me in front of the tens of people in the middle of the grounds. I just kept sitting there, trying to act like I got a sudden cold just so others won't invite me to dance. But on my mind, I felt like crying already. Later that evening, I was fetched by my cousin. Along the way, I told him I wanted to ask my mother if I could drink even just for that night. He asked why but all I said was that I had this problem. While I was on his back, I had tears already accumulating at the corners of my eyes but I kept on wiping it to avoid any attention. Soon, we arrived at the house. I was so not in the mood when I entered so I avoided any question my mother was in to ask me. Later on, my cousin told my mother what I was planning to ask her. She then asked me what was my problem. I was practically crying when she was asking me but I didn't answer. She kept on insisting, but I kept on avoiding. She then gave up and left me crying the next hour, by myself. Yesterday, I hardly spoke a word. Deep inside, I still was hurt with what I was undergoing. I tried consulting my friends but I gave up sometime after some talks, knowing I'm way too much of a killjoy for them. My mother kept on asking but I just don't want to answer yet. Back then, I felt like Miggy and I just can't be possible of a pair. I felt like we just are two poles of the same charge that should never meet. I started hating myself why I even became bisexual and started leaning towards my own gender. Prom was like a feast night for my appetite for boys to enliven. I am feeling insecure of myself that I just don't want to live anymore. I don't want to continuously feel this way. Even if I tell my problems to my mother, I'll end up being "gay" in her viewpoint and I'll be her son that she wished she never knew. If I told my friends, I would just end up helping them instead of me being helped by them. And the only best friend of mine who knows Miggy isn't as supportive as I expect her to be. I'm all in this alone. And I don't know what to do. Should I just confess to Miggy that I love him even if I can't guarantee even the slightest of good results? Or should I rethink my sexuality, that maybe I have gone so gay over these times that I'm so obsessed with him? Or what? I just can't imagine my life without the thought of him not inside my mind. I wouldn't be able t take it...
Well, I don't know what this guy's needs are, so it's hard to really advise you on how best to approach him. Every guy is a little different, from wing-tip to wing-tip. You can't just take a cookie-cutter approach to any of them, so it takes a little thinking on your part to figure out the right approach. I have a need for someone who is brash, straightforward and dominant. I like big, hairy sex-gods who speak in growls and purrs. I dig class and high style. I like Germanic, Old World airs. When I see my dream-guy, I want the world to rumble around me as if Dialga just came marching through, and that's just what my needs are. That's how I'm built. On the other hand, this Miggy might, and probably does, have a totally different set of needs, in which case you would have to be more circumspect. When you are trying to charm a guy, you really have to learn how to be seductive without being forward. Learn how to wag your tail. Think of it like fishing: you throw out a line, wait a while, pull it in, and then you throw out a line again. Learn how to put together appealing outfits. Learn to be sexy. Learn to walk sexy. Learn to charm and to tempt. Most of all, think of yourself like a predator on the prowl. Be self-confident. Be seductive. Learn that you are hot shit, and learn to never doubt that you are hot shit. The place for humility and modesty is when you already have someone's affection and respect: when you have mutual love with someone, there is the person you love, and then there is God. You just cannot get to that ideal and wonderful place, though, unless you straighten up your back and strut your stuff. In the position you are in right now, it's game-time, and you are on the clock.
Well let me just tell you that I know exactly how you feel...I just posted a thread about the same situation. Tell us more about this guy...is he gay or bi? Are you friends? Why do you think there would be a bad result?
I suspect he is hiding something from us, what exactly that is stays unknown to us who are around him. He's kind of mysterious, after all, so I can't say for sure if he even has the slightest of hints to be LGBT. When it comes to relationship, I guess you can say we're fine. I'm friends with his best friend and the three of us used to be good friends back then. There's nothing really to worry about my chances with those cases except that he has a wide network of friends. Once something terrible happens to me (rejection, maybe), the news of me being bi wil quickly come out... And I don't want that....
Well first I think you made the right move by not asking the boy to dance in the middle of prom. He could have said yes, but the odds were definitely in the favor of you getting embarrassed. Second, containing the problem will not help you at all. If you have some people that you really trust and I mean REALLY trust, then I'd start by telling them first and take it from there. It'll be hard starting off, but it will get easier.
From this day, I'm actually already starting to hint people close to me about what I am bit by bit. But I feel like I'm getting nowhere with this thing.
