[Everything will] GOT INTO RES [Work Out in the End] *Do need Help*

I wouldn't hesitate in telling your roommate. I wish I hadn't. I mean, don't walk in the door and shout "I'm gay!", but tell him 3 days later at max. My roommate had absolutely no problem, and I felt a lot better. I waited until March to tell him, so I kinda wasted the year. We're rooming again this year, so I don't have any anxiety at all and I'm looking forward to it.

I have to note, my roommate kind of idolizes Lou Reed, so it's pretty obvious that he had no prejudices.

 

Great you got in, grats! I had a straight roomate in florida. We hung out all the time, for the first (and last) 9 months that I knew him. I developed... a liking for him. Note that this was before I was out to anyone. Well after the 9 months I told him that I liked him :O and well... things didn't go so great after that. We had an apartment, 2 bedroom two bath for ---> $700 <--- a month, brand new too, waiting for us. With a court and gym and like a pool I think - In Tampa, FL! It was really great... but then he went away.
He disappeared, or at least tried to. I got one last chance to talk to him before he sneaked away. He was unloading all his shit from our old apartment that was $1200 a month. I asked him so many questions, it just went horrible, he is a complete asshole! He hated me for coming out to him. Our friendship ended over one thing... And that was my first coming out. Totally sucked ass.\

So anyways, to my point. Tell them you're gay immediately, whether you're comfortable with it or not. And at that point perhaps you may want to ask them about their orientation, cause wondering about it sucks too. That should be a good way to break the ice... lol. But seriously it's a good idea and it will save you a lot of pain in the end. And if he really doesn't like the idea then he can go somewhere else. If you tell him right away there's a good chance you can get a transfer early in the quarter between someone else rooming around there. You can't live with someone who doesn't respect you.

Also, if he is straight, telling you that he's straight will give him confidence in you, that you will not disrespect his orientation by "falling for him". You will never confuse or doubt his orientation, you must not.

That's one thing I learned about straight guys. Just like gay guys (and gals!), they can't choose their orientation. To fall for them is pretty foolish. Consider a woman fell for one of you gay guys. Imagine her trying very hard to get you, but really, you want a penis. Imagine her trying to force you out of your personal sexuality.

Also you won't have to wait 9 months to find out what they think about it. And having such a strong friendship for that long and then having it all crash down around you feels damn bad. So take my advice and tell them right away, or at least soon.

Or don't lol. Do what you think is best

 

Phil I'll be coming out to the ppl that have rooms around me too! we dont share rooms tho, they are barely big enuf for one person let alone two >.>

i plan to go to the GLBT club and come out basically as soon as i first talk to the ppl around me and my gay pride wristband shud help that along sumwhat ^^

oh our setup fo the first year is 8 ppl share a corridor type thing, with a shared kitchen and individual rooms and bathrooms. the year after that we must rent accommodation from sumwer in the local area, the uni is pretty well setup for that too with a list of reccomended landlords =]

 

As you asked for a uni coming out story i'll pass one on for you.

I was completely closeted before going to uni and i remained so for much of first year. This trend would have continued if my friend hadn't found porn on my laptop (damn those comp sci ppl). From there I told another friend and it kinda spread amoungst my friend group. In my flat of five in second year none of my flat mates had a problem with it apart from one, but my friends supported me and we managed to live peacefully enough for the year with only one offensive comment really being exchanged. That is the only thing resembling homophobia i have ever really encountered - lucky me.

I later came out to my friends in my class and in my sports club who all accepted me without question. I later joined the lgbt club which is great - basically drinking with other lgbt ppl. I feels great to mix with others of similar experiences that i previously didn't have a chance to mix with.

I'm out to most of my summer work collegues as well but i have yet to come out to parents

University is a very accepting environment with people from all walks of life with a general acceptance of any way you want to live your life. I am soo glad i did come out, i feel more relaxed and confident about myself and uni is great for discovering yourself.
In many ways i find it easier to come out to ppl i dont know than people i do. My parents have expectations of me that others at university do not.

On the whole university is a liberating experience and tho i'm not fully out i think i probs will be in the next few months if i can summon the courage for the rents. Hopefully long term relationships will come too.

With hindsight i wish i had come out at uni sooner

Hope that helped ...

 

I had, and still am having, a very pleasant, actually.. No.. AWESOME queer experience on campus.

So no.. I didn't develop any attraction for any of my room mates or housemates [despite the fact that it was an all guys town house]. I only started coming out to people in university at the start of the winter semester. My roommate was MORE THAN accepting... My roommate actually thought it was fine for me to bring my boyfriend(at that time) to the room. It's pretty awkward because 1. the room is pretty small. and 2. They both have the same first name.. so....

So yeah.. most universities in ontario are pretty accepting. I think almost all of them have a positive space committee. So don't worry Phil.. and enjoy university!! (!)

 

Wow, what a great start to college! Congrats Phil!

 

Great stuff Phil !! Have you actually met him in person?? Deep Breaths.

 

Wooo Hoooo!!!! That's awesome!!!

I'm glad you've got into res. That will be great for first year.

(I love reading these threads after they've come to an end - I get to read the happy ending without delay!)

And btw... I happen to like fast cars - and I'm gay. Not so big on rap music... But you can't judge a book by it's cover.

 

Sounds good Mr. Phil...:icon_bigg

 

Sure you can! Nobody said it has to be good advice!

Oh - and be sure to wave while you're travelling through Toronto on your way to St. Catherines!