I know that this question is not LGBT specific, but it’s really bugging me and I wonder if I could just get some opinions on the situation. I work at a Catholic university and I am not out there. Last spring another colleague and I were interviewing a candidate for a job. The colleague and I started eating an appetizer and the candidate said “shouldn’t we pray before we eat?” Fast forward. This candidate got the job and invited me out for dinner this evening. Everything was going fine until the end when he asked me if I am Catholic. I said yes, what gave you the impression that I wasn’t? He said during the interview I looked surprised when he said we should pray before eating. I joked in reply that I’m not always the most diligent Catholic. I am pissed that he did that. A part of me wants to talk with him privately tomorrow and tell him I didn’t appreciate the way he was questioning my faith yesterday. Is that too much? Should I let it go? I don’t want him to think that it’s ok to treat me this way. Am I overreacting? Any thoughts are appreciated.
I’m thinking about just pulling him aside sometime this week and saying hey I had a good time getting dinner the other day but I didn’t appreciate how I felt you were questioning my faith towards the end. How I publicly express or don’t express my faith I feel is personal and not open to scrutiny. Too much? I’m thinking it’s to better to just address it and nip it in the bud early.
If you do confront him then I would suggest telling him briefly in a positive tone. You'll have to see him around campus since you both work there ,and if you handle it professionally then it won't cause drama. I've had similar instances in the past, where someone said something irksome to me that didn't sit right. I found it's better to confront them on the spot as professionally and as dead serious as possible. They'll respect you more in that moment compared to awkwardly pulling them off to the side after the fact hours or days later.
Good advice. I did not end up saying anything after the fact after all. Rather, I am mentally preparing myself to address something in the moment in the manner you described, should anything similar to that happen again in the future. Thank you for your reply.
