Yesterday I came across the term "demisexual". As I was reading about it I felt like I was reading a page all about me. It totally made sense. But, I have a few questions : 1. Can you be demisexual AND straight/gay/bi? If so what would the correct term be? 2. Is it considered a "proper" sexuality? By that I mean is it considered a separate sexuality under the LGBT label? I don't know how to explain it properly but like almost everyone has heard of gay, straight and bisexual. And there is no letter D in LGBT so would people see it as a sexuality? I'm not sure how much sense that makes ... 3. How do you go about explaining it to people, especially to people who are not in the LGBT community? I mentioned it to a friend of mine this evening who is bisexual and she didn't have a clue what I was going on about! I haven't yet decided if this is the label I would use. I am still exploring my sexuality. I know many people say that you don't necessarily need to have a label but for me it is important!
1. Yes. Some people use Demi-homosexual. 2. This is opinion based. I personally do not view it as a real sexuality, even though I myself am "demisexual". By saying that, that doesn't mean I don't think it doesn't exist, but that I think It's more of a preference than a sexual orientation. And I would be very uncomfortable if hetero demisexuals were considered LGBT, since they still gain way more privilege than LGBT's ever will get (and especially since "demisexuality" in straight women is strongly encouraged to be "proper" in hetero culture). 3. I just say "I am a homosexual woman who does not feel sexually attracted to random strangers. I am only attracted to people I get to know and have an emotional connection with". I don't need to use the word when I can just say I'm gay and not attracted easily.
Demisexuality has online usage, but no credible scientific confirmation. It is also more of a description of how one feels attraction (after getting to know someone) than sexuality (gender/s attracted to). Asexuality isn't in 'LGBT' forefront but that has credible scientific confirmation.
This is correct. In my humble opinion, it is not really an useful label. It is easier to say, for instance, "i'm bisexual, but i'm only attracted sexually to people i know well", instead of saying "i'm demi-bisexual". At first, it seems easier to use the latter, but in most cases you will need to explain the label anyway, as Creativemind said (as most people don't know what it means), and also it hasn't credible scientific evidence as a label. In other words, of course, there are people who only feel attracted to people they know well, but, with the knowledge we have today, it is best to affirm that it is simply a common variation/fluctuation of one's sexuality. It doesn't really justify the creation of a new word/label. With that said, of course, you are free to use any label you want to, as long as you are comfortable with it. However, if you are not worried about explaining it to others, then worrying about labels isn't of much use anyway. If you are worried about explaining it, i think using a label that isn't well known doesn't really help that much.
Thanks. I read it is on the asexual spectrum so could be under the LGBTQIA banner if that's the case. I do agree that not many people have heard of it though! I understand what you mean about seeing it as choice, Creativemind, but I also know some people who will sleep with anyone, either as a one night stand or fairly quickly into a relationship but I read that people who are demisexual don't experience sexual attraction unless there is a deep emotional connection and even then they might not. I know for me at least this is the case I definitely need to look more into it
I think that's why It's iffy too. You can be against one night stands and casual sex but not be a demisexual- in which case you would feel sexually attracted, but not act on it because waiting is your personal morals. And you can be demisexual but exclusively engage in one night stands or prostitution- either for money or because It's what everyone else is doing (but lack interest in the other person). That's why these labels can be a bit weird since attraction and actions aren't the same, but at the same time, this type of attraction isn't always worth mentioning. For me anyway. Even if I wanted to be honest with a girl I'm dating, I could easily say I am against casual sex for personal or moral reasons. The label works for some, but is too complicated for me.
Not really, if you think about it. You are who you are. Labels and details don't really matter. There is no word that you describe 100% who you are, and everyone is different. We don't need a label for every small variation of our sexuality: That ends up confusing it, rather than making things clear. Being "gay" doesn't mean you are attracted to the same type of men as other gay people, in the same proportion. Being bi doesn't mean you like women and men at the same proportion than other bi people. About the label demisexual, if we use it, then remember there can also be variations inside it: Some people would need more personal intimacy before sex, others not so much. And we don't need to create a label for each small variations on our sexuality: That's why some words are confusing. In the end, like i said, you are who you are, and that's fine. You don't need a word to describe yourself perfectly - not even your name can do that! Because we are humans, and humans are complex.
