Corrupt A Wish

Granted but the new truck will quickly deteriorate.

I wish I knew every language and wouldn't get them mixed up.

 

Granted, but you won't be able to speak for the rest of your life.
I wish I had a fire-breathing unicorn.

 

Granted, but the unicorn is not tame and will burn down your whole town.

I wish I could swim through air.

 

Granted, but in your excitement, you find yourself getting sucked into a jet engine, and meet your untimely demise.

I wish I could float on white, fluffy clouds, and take naps on them with sparkly ponies and unicorns.

 

Granted, but every time you want to go up, a thunderstorm will start

I wish I could play with a cat right now

 

Granted, but it's a lion with huge claws that ends up slicing you in half!

I wish I could get more into the Halloween spirit this year

 

Granted, but now Halloween has been cancelled and everyone is out watching rom-coms instead of trick-or-treating.
I wish I could hug my favorite band member.

 

Granted. But your favourite band member is a very unhappy porcupine. Hope you have lots of band aids

I wish I trusted my instincts

 

Granted! But they turn out not to be that good. One foggy day, you get lost while hiking. The fog becomes so thick you can barely see. Your instincts tell you to keep going forward, but in doing so, you step over a cliff, fall into a river, and are attacked by a venomous platypus.

I wish I could make out with my boyfriend in a zero-gravity space station.

 

Granted, but half-an-hour after you get into space, the space station gets hit by an asteroid and now you will be floating aimlessly through the universe for a long time.
I wish I wasn't so klutzy.

 

Granted. You will no longer trip over your own feet. You don't have any.

I wish I could just forget

 

Granted, but now everyone else is klutzy and will constantly bump into you.

I wish I could make food appear out of thin air.

 

Granted, but they actually do appear in the middle of the air and always end up falling on you

I wish I didn't need sleep

 

Granted but everyone will be worried about you and think you have terrible insomnia.

I wish I could communicate with animals.

 

Granted but they are all rather vulgar and uncouth.

I wish I could get an A on this German test...

 

Granted, but you will get an F on the rest of your German tests.

I wish I could eat ten cakes and not die.

 

Granted, but you'll get awfully sick.

I wish I couldn't stub my toes.

 

Granted, but you scrape your knuckles on everything.

I wish people weren't so annoying.

 

Granted, but people find you the most annoying person on earth and isolate you.

I wish I had a solution to my problem.

 

Granted, but it will cost you everything.

I wish math was easy.